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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Calealla on 2023-08-23 11:08:35.

The conflict we had is about baby names and how nobody tells my sister directly what they’re naming their kids, even when they’re born. She’s had three of her closest friends have babies in the last five years and none of them told her directly (via text, DM or in person) what the name is. She always finds out via a social media post like the rest of the people in their lives who are not family. I also didn’t tell her what my son’s name would be directly. She found out via an Instagram post I made.

My sister has a problem with being super judgmental. Names are not the only thing she’s like that about but she’s the most vocal I would say. She has always labelled people bad parents over what they name their kids if she doesn’t like it. I remember when she was like 20 and one of our aunts had a baby after 20 years of trying (she was mid-forties having her baby) and my sister told her after all those years of waiting she should have named her baby something better because she was already off to a “rough start”. The name in question was Meadow. My sister found it awful and trashy. She was promptly shut down by our uncle.

My sister’s friends all know what she’s like but they have a different taste in names. Some of the names are Hayden, Indigo, Darcy, Brynn and Kaia. These are all names my sister would insult or claim are setting kids up for failure. She named her own kids Elizabeth, Josephine and William and my sister mostly expects others to give their kids names in a similar style.

My sister also hates my son’s name, Sunny. And it was last month when she was meeting him for the first time (he was a few weeks old) that she started complaining about his name and I shut her down. Then she told me how awful it was that I let her find out his name via Instagram. She said she never expected to find out the name of her only nephew that way and I told her that I didn’t want to hear her criticisms of the name. She then whined that nobody close to her ever tells her their baby names. Her best friend not telling her directly hurt her the most. She has two kids and my sister found out both their names on Facebook. She was like I don’t get it, nobody seems to care about my feelings, etc.

I told my sister that people might tell her more things if she wasn’t so judgmental. I told her I would have told her if I hadn’t known she’d despise my son’s name and judge my husband and I for picking it. My sister got defensive and said people are naming their kids such dumb things together. I told her she might think they’re dumb but not everyone will and she hurts people’s feelings by people so harsh. She told me I was judging her and being cruel and expected me to apologize for what I said.

AITA?