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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Devenoff on 2023-08-23 15:25:03.

We’re both 25, been together since 20. She moved in 3 years ago, and I was surprised to realize she had some pretty painful periods where she couldn’t even move from the bed for 1-3 days (she never canceled a meeting before and we met almost daily). I was trying to be helpful ofc, rubbing her back and staying with her whenever I could, making her food and doing every household chore during that time (we usually split it equally). I honestly can’t even imagine what living with that must be like so I was trying to be as helpful as I could.

Then as her periods got worse, the stuff I was suddenly required to do for her got ‘bigger’. Do all the chores she neglected until now, take her car for that checkup again, get her cats to the vet, do delivery runs (she works catering), do her taxes or some other paperwork she could have done weeks ago but she ‘suddenly’ has a deadline for tomorrow. She’d only ever invite guests for just a day after she starts feeling better, so I have to do all the cooking/cleaning/prep the day before. It got to the point where she puts off literally all her tasks for weeks and then asks me to do them because of some mysterious deadline that popped up just now.

Then a year ago I got a job that requires me to leave the country every few weeks, for a few days. This happened 4 times during her periods since, and guess what, all 4 times she had a “miraculous pain-free period”. She went to girls nights, beach trips with friends, team building events at her workplace (the last one was a sports event where she climbed walls all day with zero issues). Then I get back home, and it’s “please please can you do this I’m crying from pain” again.

So last week she asked me to pick up her sister from the airport, because her cramps are just so bad she literally can’t even sit up. I told her that I’m sorry but I’m busy doing the chores she put off for the last 2 weeks, sis can call an Uber. Lots of tears later, gf can somehow move again, grudingly gets into the car and goes. When she came back I told her I don’t believe she’s really in pain anymore, or at least not in a much as she claims to be. Now I’m the devil incarnate who wants women to suffer and doesn’t understand how periods work (I get that pain-free periods can happen, I just don’t believe her story anymore).

AITA?

Edit: We discussed her pain levels several times as I found it concerning too, but she goes to regular checkups, and she said her doc can’t really do anything besides prescribing painkillers, which I can’t recall seeing her actually take (but she says she does and the pills do disappear somewhere).