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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/cassiopeia2012 on 2023-08-24 01:13:47.

My male colleague is a nice guy. He generally listens and respects diverse opinions. He does this one thing that is driving me nuts and I know that he would want to stop doing it if he understood what he was doing, I need your help to articulate the issue and if you have any links to articles or posts about this specific type of microaggression I would really appreciate it.

What he does to me and all of my female colleagues is he says “Ok I’m going to shut up now so doesn’t kill me” or " is going to be angry but…" or "I will stop digressing this conversation before I get in trouble with "

In context he is trying to yield the floor and keep the meetings on topic. However he doesn’t use these phrases when he yields to men. He just says “well we should move on and take it offline” or whatever. I think from his perspective he is deprecating himself in favor of a woman’s authority (especially when it is a woman running the meeting). But in practice it makes it seem like the women are overly emotional and controlling.

Since y’all are so articulate about these types of issues, I thought you could help me explain it to him professionally and clearly so he can understand.