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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/throw-aways21 on 2023-08-24 06:07:35.

Throwaway in holes my son doesn’t read this.

I (42F) have two children. Suna (20F) and Jae (25M). I am a widow, and am fortunate enough to have a well paying job as well as my late husbands life insurance. Once my children started working, I have always told them that I wouldn’t ever ask them for rent, as I want them to save up for when they would either move out or if they would want to pursue higher education. We live in a three bed room apartment for roughly $2200 a month.

For further context, my daughter is a fairly independent person and cooks her own meals, takes care of her own laundry and even helps me around the house with the cleaning. She even gives me about $200 biweekly just to help out.

I cannot say the same for Jae, as I usually have to clean his room and do his laundry because he lets it pile up in the laundry room. As for my meals and Jae’s, I only end up cooking for myself as my son usually eats out or eats at his girlfriends house.

My son had recently asked if his girlfriend, Anais (23F) would be able to move in, as she’s being evicted due to some issues with her landlord. Anais is a very sweet girl but we don’t interact much as she doesn’t come over too often. Her and Jae have been dating for about a year.

I told him that his girlfriend moving in would undoubtedly change the rule I had set in place about charging rent. This is because as a couple, they’d need to have some set responsibilities, just as they’d have if they would rent a room someplace else or move into an apartment. I told him rent would be $750 a month, how they split it is up to them. I also let him know that they are more than welcome to use any of the groceries I buy, they can even request me to bring certain stuff home when I go to the market, but I will not be cooking for them. I also let him know I would not be cleaning their room nor will I be in charge of doing their laundry.

My son was enraged and started demanding why I am doing a sudden 180. I told him that he’s a grown man and these are things a couple should find a solution to. I told him that he can either agree to these requests or him and Anais would have to find someplace else to live.

He hasn’t spoken to me in three days. I understand why he feels like I might be unfair, since I did say I wouldn’t charge him rent, but adding an extra person to the household is an exception to that rule. My daughter understands why her brother is upset but ultimately agrees with me in that I should not be the one to take up what should be their responsibilities.

AITA?