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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/NefariousnessNext121 on 2023-08-24 16:25:28.

My partner 30M and I 28F met at our former workplace and got together and after a number of years together we had a baby. We are not intending on getting married anytime soon if ever. We met with some friends recently near our former workplace and bumped into a friend of mine that I used to work with at the pub. Let’s call him John. For context, John can be a lovely guy if he wants to but most of the time he is just making rude “jokes”. He would say to me I am fat and that I should get pregnant so I have an excuse, that I am a slut for flirting(when I was single), to shut up, no one cares while I’m saying something and most of the time he says those things in front of many many people. I know even if he said it in private it’s not nice but in public it’s even worse. So the other day when we bumped into him, he made a joke in front of everyone that my partner got me pregnant but won’t even marry me, should have used protection and other things. I lost it. He recently got divorced due to his drinking problem and basically never being home. I replied to him by saying “you are gonna judge me? Where is your wife? Oh that’s right, she divorced you!”. He looked down and said nothing while the rest of his group kinda looked shocked. My partner said he has been asking for it for a while but I shouldn’t have brought up the divorce. Am I the asshole?

Edit: I just want to answer some questions

  1. At a time where I would end up homeless John didn’t even think twice, he just said how much and helped me pay for a place. Sadly most of the time he is a d*ck and I am totally aware I should have spoken up sooner.
  2. The reason above is why I still considered him a friend. Since he brought my kid and partner in the conversation I’m done with him.
  3. We haven’t spoken in a long time and we weren’t hanging out, he just happened to be at the same pub as we were near our old workplace so we said hello.
  4. I have told him before that this behaviour upsets me and that he is an asshole and he just kept doing the same thing!