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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/HollsSollyz on 2023-08-24 19:23:08.


My parents had three children. My older brother died when he was only 2 days old and his intended name had been Joseph but mom wanted Angel to be his name since he passed so young. So Angel was the first name and Joseph was considered his middle name. I came along next and dad kinda/sorta named me. They couldn’t agree and it was a coin toss. Dad’s choice won. Robyn. Next came my sister and mom’s choice, Elizabeth was used. Elizabeth was a family name as well as my mom’s favorite name. Grandma and Great-Grandma were both Elizabeth. Grandma went by Liz while GG went by Betty.

My sister never liked her name and always preferred her middle name Briony. In school she asked to be called Briony and it took until she was 10 to tell the rest of the family she wanted to be called Briony instead of Elizabeth (Beth was the nickname most of the family used for her). Mom was upset and told her Elizabeth is her name and unless she wanted a nickname of Elizabeth, she would keep calling her that.

By now my sister is 20 and recently she legally changed her name to Briony and changed her middle name to something more unique. She told mom after she’d completed the name change but had warned her a couple of times from the age of like 16 that it was in the cards for her. Mom blew a fuse when she found out and told my sister she was spiteful and had ruined her lovely name. My sister said Elizabeth was the worst name she could have given her. So generic and bland and most of the nicknames sounded like they belonged on women over 50. Dad defended my sister and mom came to me to complain about it and them. She asked me how my sister could do that and acted as though I was on her side and should hate my sister for her choice. I told her Briony deserved to be happy with her own name and I know it hurt her, but she was still her baby, with a different name is all. Mom said I would never get it and I was as bad as them. I told her to get over herself and get over the name change or she’d risk losing Briony. Mom burst into tears for real and left. She called later and told me she hoped I was proud I made my own mom cry.

I didn’t like doing it but I do feel like she’s being too over the top about it. But perhaps I should have been gentler with my mom overall.

AITA?

  • @[email protected]
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    21 year ago

    I go by my middle name and my parents were onboard. I never felt the need to change my legal name. I wonder if those two are connected.