This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/throwawaybridethrow on 2023-08-25 02:20:01.

I just wanted some external opinions regarding this.

For some context : I F26 met my M26 fiancé in college along with our two best friends we’ll call them John M 26 and Holly F26. They’ve also been together since college like me and my fiancé. So we’ve been inseparable since going on double dates and trips together and have had an amazing time post college.

My fiancé proposed to me last year and it’s all been very exciting wedding planning has been stressful and exciting and Holly is my bridesmaid and John is my fiancé’s best man. Our wedding is February next year and in the midst of planning last night John came over to our house and said that he wanted to propose to Holly! Me and my fiancé were over for the moon for him and I was excited for another wedding! So I asked him when he planned to propose and that we’d be down to help with the proposal and everything. He smiled and then said that he was thankful and said that he’d love to propose to Holly at our wedding. Before I said anything he showed me a video of a bride giving her bridesmaid her bouquet instead of tossing it and then the man proposing he then said I’d love to do something like this. I was sort of speechless as was my fiancé.

So he then asked us would that be okay. I took a deep breath and said no John it wouldn’t be okay. As much as I love you and Holly and more than happy for you guys are getting engaged I don’t want that done at my wedding but I’d be more than happy to help you plan a separate event and I think Holly wouldn’t be too thrilled to get proposed at someone’s wedding. Holly had told me before that she found people who get engaged at people’s weddings tacky.

I told him that but he wouldn’t budge. He got angry and said we were being selfish but not allowing him this one small favour and if the roles were reversed he’d say okay in a heart beat. I reiterated to him that Holly wouldn’t want this and she’d want her own event. He kept saying you’re lying you just don’t want us to be engaged you just want all the attention to yourselves. This is where I might feel like I’m the asshole. I blew up at him and called him tacky and cheap! I said us and our families aren’t not shelling out thousands for you to propose at our wedding. It’s embarrassing you can propose to Holly even a day after or day the before or even the day of but just not at my wedding or venue. Holly will cringe and find it embarrassing. He said he didn’t think he’d been friends with such selfish and rude people for all these years. My fiancé reiterated everything I’d said and then My fiancé told him to leave and he left.

Now it’s awkward Holly has no idea what happened and we all had a trip booked for next month and now I don’t want to go. I’m very upset with John and he hasn’t apologised. I don’t know what to tell Holly I don’t want to lie to her but I don’t want to ruin the surprise of her possible proposal. A part of feels bad but I want to stick to my guns.