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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/Sarcastic_Mnt_Goat on 2023-08-25 17:47:25.

So I started seeing this guy about two months ago and we started getting along and things were going well. I am 25 and he is 24 and he told me that he was a virgin( I am ok with that as long as we have good communication in the bedroom). He said he had a girlfriend before me for 3 years but they never slept together. He said “she had a problem”.

At first, things were going well but every once in awhile he would say something kind of mean out of the blue without any context. For example, I was with him at a store and there were some $9 cards I was going to buy. He was in front of me in the checkout line when he gestured for me to give him the cards so that he can buy them for me. I thanked him and handed him the cards and after he bought them he said “this is my last gift to you” as we walked out the store.

He also stated acting cold to me whenever I invite him to things because he says we spend too much time together (we only see each other twice a week, once late in the evening on Wednesdays and for half of the day on Saturday)

Whenever we have sex. He has been having trouble finisheing due to performance anxiety and I would always tell him that it is totally fine to be anxious and that we will get the rhythm down eventually. Though he started making mean comments about my body. Saying that I my vagina smells even though there is no trace of a UTI or an STI, my vagina just smells like a normal vagina. Later that day I texted him and asked him if it really bothers him that much and he said “yea a little, it kind of hinders my ability to finish” and then I offered that we have a fan or a scented candle and he texted back “uh well we’ll see” and that is when I started having second thoughts.

I feel like for the issues he is having in bed, like his inability to finish, I help him by lifting him up and saying positive words. However when it came to issues that I have, he kind of complained and puts me down and makes me feel bad about myself.

Whenever I stay the night with someone it is a standard to me that we both feel happy and fortunate to be together in bed. But to spoke at things I cannot change, from previous experiences I know that partners that are good partners couldn’t care less if I smell like a living creature or if my makeup is smudged. Sex is an experience not a performance and I want to be with someone who cherishes the time I spend with them in bed. I want to be with someone who will give me the time of day.