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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Dry_Safe_6800 on 2023-08-25 18:50:17.

I feel so conflicted here and I need some insight on this situation. I (22F) live at home with my mom, and my 3 younger siblings (20F), (18M), and (16M). My sister is not an issue, but my brothers are, mainly the 18 year old. He is such a slob it’s unbelievable. He always has been, and I don’t know where it comes from because my family is not messy any more than a typical family of 5. He is such a pig though with his bedroom, the way he leaves the bathroom, the kitchen, etc…

I know it’s normal for younger boys and teens to be a little messy, but he’s pretty bad. He cooks huge meals and then doesn’t clean up at all, he showers and knocks over other shampoo bottles and doesn’t pick them up, then he gets out of the shower and floods the bathroom somehow, and then uses like 15 towels (exaggeration but you get the point), and never turns the fan on so once he’s done in the bathroom, there’s stuff everywhere, wet towels and SOAKING WET bath mat crumpled in the corner, and it’s humid as fuck.

He does this everyday and when he does do dishes, he’ll load the dishwasher so incorrectly that it needs to be rearranged.

Yesterday, I decided not to clean up any of his mess which I usually do because I can’t stand trying to use the kitchen when it’s messy or trying to use the bathroom when it’s a disaster. So I didn’t touch anything and when my mom came home from work she was pissed off that her house was a mess. I happened to be the first to greet her and she started ranting to me about how there’s no reason we should have been home all day and still have the house look like this when she gets home.

I told her that I didn’t make any of this mess and she said “Well, I didn’t either and I shouldn’t have to clean it up.” I told her that I don’t expect her to clean it up and I think my brother should be the one to clean it up and also that she should get on his ass more about this because she always ends up cleaning up after him. She told me I’m insulting her parenting and that I need to help her out and stop being petty by allowing a mess to prove a point.

I don’t think I’m in the wrong, I wasn’t trying to prove a point to anyone except my brother. I certainly didn’t intend to come off as petty towards her but oh my god I shouldn’t have to pick up after him any more than she should.