This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Wanderingtower987 on 2023-06-22 00:58:44+00:00.

Backstory: I lost my son at 23 weeks pregnant last year, he was born stillborn. I held my son in my arms. That feeling/image is seared into my brain. Within my close family, this is the first time I have experienced death. My own son. I have gone through ebbs and flows of grief over the past year. I am doing better now, but I do break down once in awhile.

Just recently I found out my husbands cousins wife’s mother passed away, she was in her late 70s or early 80s. She would have needed to be under constant care as she would have needed medical attention consistently. My reaction: she is older, has lived her life, and while it sucks it’s part of life. I feel bad for the family but I hardly knew this lady. Plus she LIVED! Rather pass away peacefully with family members knowing she was going to pass away soon. So yup it sucks, I sent a condolence text, but I don’t really want to attend the funeral. I have empathy, but I just think she lived. My son didn’t.

My husband’s reaction: wow you really handle death differently. He thinks of it as well if his parents died or mine, what would he want ppl to be like. He puts himself in the shoes of the child losing a parent. He feels we should give our condolences in person. He is morose for some reason. I’m like the worst ****ing thing happened to us, and your extended family sent us a condolence card!

I don’t think I really care, I went through the worst thing imaginable. I don’t know how I would react if my own parents passed away. In my opinion, they lived, experienced life. I got to spend time with them. It’s the progression of life. No parent is supposed to bury/cremate the child. AITA because I just don’t give a shit. I don’t get why he is sad over a person he saw on extended family functions.