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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/ToastyToastmaker on 2023-08-28 12:54:51.

My husband and I had a baby around a month ago. Hubs is back at work and I am on maternity leave. Lately, my husband has been making me toast every morning as a little treat for me before he goes to work, and it’s such a sweet gesture! (All I’ve been craving post-pregnancy is peanut butter on toast.)

But the thing is…his toast…I can hardly call it that. He barely toasts it. The middle of the bread has only changed colour very slightly, and the edges are still perfectly soft. It’s warmed bread, is what it is. Have you ever had slightly toasted toast? It’s confusing. Be bread or be toast, but if you try to be both then you’re neither.

And while I do appreciate that he’s making me a meal, and I know in my heart that it’s the thought that counts, I just want actually toasted toast back in my life. Especially as it’s all I’m craving.

I’ve mentioned it several times in the last week or so that I don’t mind making my own toast, but he insists on making the toast for me before he goes to work. And I eat the barely toasted toast, because I don’t like food waste if I can avoid it. But then because I’ve eaten the barely toastsed toast, it’d be too much food for me if I made myself a second piece of actual toast after he’s left, so I don’t get the toast taste I’m really craving.

So the other day when he was going to put the bread in the toaster, I asked him if he wouldn’t mind leaving the bread in there just a little bit longer this time. He asked me if I didn’t like his toast, and I said, “No, I love that you’ve been making me toast! I just wouldn’t mind it a little bit toastier.” He got a bit annoyed and said that he gets up earlier to make me my toast every morning, and now he felt like I didn’t appreciate his toast. I said I did appreciate his toast, but would appreciate it more if it were actually toast. Maybe I shouldn’t have put it like that, because he told me I could make my own toast if I didn’t think he was up to the task of toasting. I said I would, and I think this hurt him even more.

I feel really bad that I hurt his feelings, but I feel like we’ve always asked for and given feedback on dishes we cook for one another previously so I thought it’d be okay if I just politely asked for my toast to be slightly more toasted. Should I have just kept eating the bad toast, and AITA for bringing it up with him?