This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/eculilumab on 2023-08-29 02:08:26.

Mom’s friend’s daughter was moving to my city, and her new job was starting 3 weeks before her lease. She desperately texted asking to stay in my tiny 1 bedroom apartment for 3 weeks. For context, I haven’t talked to this girl for 15+ years, but our moms are besties of 40+ years. Our moms were bridesmaids, helped each other thru family death, etc. Because of this, I felt a lot of pressure into saying yes to letting her stay.

The daughter, as I learned, is a bratty spoiled 23 year old who expects people to do everything for her for free while she spends her parents’ money on $900 shoes and $1000+ designer homeware.

Red flag #1: After I agreed to let her stay, I proceeded to ask her on the details of her arrival, assuming she would be considerate enough to give advanced notice. Turns out, she only gave me literally TWO DAYS of notice of her 3 week stay.

Red flag #2-6: She then proceeded to freeload off of me for almost an entire month, living entirely for free in my apartment. She did not offer to cover any apartment costs.She threw away my food from the counter.Broke items including my travel memorabilia- Left moldy food on my dining table.

• lost my spare house key within 5 hours of her arrival, then asked to take MY PERSONAL key to get in/out of the apartment. I had to spend an evening running around home depot and locksmiths.-

Red flag #7: The falling out. The falling out came with a weekend getaway to Maine I planned for my own vacation. When she asked my weekend plans, I mentioned the trip. She then invited herself to “tag along” (which for her I guess means free).- I paid for the rental car, the hotel, the gas money, the national park entry fees, and drove the entire trip (~12 hours of driving in total).- When it came time to pay for gas or any shared trip costs, she turned the other way. But then I watched her buy a $40 dollar disposable camera, $8 lattes, and other exorbitant things for herself.-

After the trip ended, I split the trip cost in half ($200 each) and told her she can pay me back when able. She got mad and gaslit me. Saying she didn’t think she would have to split costs, that she is “not in a position” to split, and that she contributed “in small ways” (ie paying a 4 dollar parking pass and 1 coffee).

I let out all my frustrations and ended by calling her a freeloader. She left the apartment angry and got her parents to book her a hotel room. Moms are super mad and their friendship is now quite tense.- From my end, maybe I should have communicated problems from red flag #1, said no more, or been explicit about trip costs? I was trying to avoid conflict and never thought someone would be bratty enough to freeload my vacation. Am I the asshole?