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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Sand_Witchy12 on 2023-08-29 05:02:24.


My brother (25) and his wife (24) have been living with me recently so they can save money to build a home of their own. They’ve only been responsible for the cost of one utility which is about $350 per month and in return have free range of my 3000 square foot home as I am frequently away on business around 3 weeks out of the month. There have been a few disagreements relating to them refusing to assist (physically) with small repairs/common upkeep tasks, even though they “sold” me on the idea of them living with me as a benefit to me by proving extra hands for upkeep of the home. Over the weekend my brother’s in-laws were visiting for the day and became intoxicated and started making disrespectful remarks to myself and my female friend. These were under the guise of humor but were “too much” to be considered in good taste. My female friend chose to leave. I told my brother I didn’t appreciate it, especially since the comments were made under my roof. My brother became irate and said If the in-laws weren’t welcome he wasn’t either and that he was going to move out right then. I told him fine, which made him angry and he got physical with me…which led to his wife, MIL and FIL also getting involved (verbally) and telling me I should leave my home. Of course, I DID NOT, and demanded everyone get out (in very colorful language.) I think my brother was out of line for allowing the disrespect, but also for taking this to a physical level. However, I was raised to value family, and have been feeling guilty that the relationship with my brother is ruined. I have been questioning if requiring respect was worth losing my brother. Am I the ahole for not leaving my own home to keep the peace, and for not trying to reach out since then to appease the situation?