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The original was posted on /r/hfy by /u/TheloniousHowe on 2025-05-10 23:15:38+00:00.

“Oh my! That’s absolutely unbalanced!” Prilla nearly shrieked at her friend’s revelation.

Briss just let out a snort, “I know! A formal duel challenge! Over my choice of eating venue, that man is unbalanced!”

“Do you think you’ll stay together, after that?” Prilla asked.

“No, I doubt it. It was only a handful of outings, not worth the investment.” Briss sighed, “I suppose I have to look elsewhere for now.”

“Ugh, I’m so sorry for you, sister. It’s an awful time to be drex and single right now, but hang in there, it’ll get better, I promise.” A small chime echoed from Prilla’s pocket, “Look, I gotta go, but just keep swinging, you’ll hit the right one eventually!” And with that, Briss was alone at the bar, half of a tall glass of ale her only companion.

While her attention was mostly focused directly on her drink, she suddenly felt the scales on the back of her neck stiffen. Someone was watching. Out of the corner of her eye, she caught a glimpse of a shape, it was just out of claw’s reach, remaining nearly perfectly still. She turned to face this unwelcome interloper, and just was her luck, it turned out to be human. She grimaced at the thing. How had her people, so steeped in martial prowess, ever lost to these things? They were small and soft, they had no stomach for war. They had only won because they used coward tricks, because they were cowards. He was probably here to gloat and to boast.

But this was a public place; he couldn’t do much, so all she had to do was maintain her composure, and this little nest-thief would get bored and soon be out of her life.

“You are staring,” Briss said, trying to remain as neutral as possible.

“Uh…yeah…it’s just that you’re so uh…and…um…” the human trailed off, his words having failed him.

If this was a pitiful attempt at mockery or derision, he was failing quite miserably. Briss was already wearisome of this bumbling clown and decided to terminate this interaction before it proceeded, so she leaned toward the whelping, “Would you care to feel how hard I can punch?”

Ok, so maybe she had overstepped just a little. He might try to get her on threats, but it was an earnest question. She was sure she would be able to thrash her way out of it. But the human just swallowed hard and said nothing more. Briss scoffed.

Weak and pathetic, like the rest of his-

“Y-Yes.”

There was no way she had just heard what she thought she just heard. Her eyes narrowed at the human who had become a bright shade of red, “What?!”

The human’s gaze fell to the floor, “Oh…uh…sorry. Yes, please?”

Briss scowled at the human. This had to be a duplicitous trick. He was goading her to attack, setting her up to commit violence. So that he, and the whole of humanity could point to her as an example. To say “They’re no better than beasts, they deserve to be in chains!” Something that would finally end the charade of the outstretched arm that had met them in defeat.

But she was smarter than that. Calmer of mind than he probably would have expected. “You will leave me be, or I will have someone make you leave me be.” She growled.

“Ok, I’m sorry. I really didn’t mean to bother.” The human said softly as he slunk back to his seat.

This day had started in disaster and was quickly diverting into the downright bizarre. She thought it would be best to just finish her drink and head home to bed, lest it decide to meander into something more dangerous.

So she gulped down the rest of her glass and placed the empty container on the counter in front of her. No sooner had the cup touched the wood when it was replaced by a new one. Sweating with cold, full to the brim.

Briss’s brow furrowed at the sight of the beverage, “I did not order this.”

“Nope.” Came a reply.

She looked up to the source of the voice and, for the first time, noticed that the barman, too, was a human. Something foul was afoot, and she wanted no part of it.

“Well, I’m not going to pay for it.” She scoffed.

The barman just threw a nod down the bar, “Already been paid for.”

Briss’ gaze followed the barman’s gesture and she found herself staring at the human whom she had recently run off. He was still the same shade of crimson, though now his focus seemed to be fixed solely on his own beverage.

She turned back to the glass that had been placed in front of her. Surely this must be some sort of con, some elaborate ruse. Surely these two humans must be in cahoots, working together towards some nefarious end. Perhaps they were trying to bait her into “stealing” after the plans to have her assault a civilian quickly fell through.

The barman seemed to pick up on her hesitation, “It’s nothing diabolical. He’s just kind of an idiot. He was flirting with you, you know.”

Briss sneered, “That was flirting?”

“Alright, fair.” The barman conceded, “He was trying to at least.”

Briss was stunned, there was no way that was true. She glared at the barman, “But…but I offered to punch him.”

The barman just shrugged, “Yeah, and some folks is into that.”

“Oh.”

The barman gave a deep sigh, “Look, a little unsolicited advice? You may want to give’em a shot. Even if it doesn’t work out, I’m sure you’ll be able to at least vent a little of your frustration. You can probably toss him around a bit, and he’ll come back asking for more.”

Briss stared down the bar at the human who had just approached her and ruminated on this for a moment. Here she had a unique opportunity to force her own conqueror to submit and bow at her feet. And she would be thrice damned if she didn’t take it.

“He have a tab?” She asked, without breaking her gaze.

“Mhmm.” The barman confirmed.

Oh yes, it was all coming together.

Briss smiled. “Good,” she slammed a credit chit down on the counter, “this should take care of it.”

She rose from her stool, pressing a closed fist into an open palm, creating an unpleasant cracking sound. “I’m going to go show him how a true warrior ‘flirts’!”