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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/Bryce_Madi on 2025-05-11 17:48:42+00:00.

Last week, I was randomly selected for a urinalysis (UA) in the Marines. For those who don’t know, every UA has to be directly observed—and I mean directly. The observer must watch the urine leave your body and go into the bottle. No looking away, no glancing—full eye contact with the stream, so to speak.

When my name was finally called, I decided if we were going to do this, we were going to do it by the book.

I stepped into the testing area, faced the observer, tucked my shirt up into my armpits like I was about to get a suntan, and dropped my trousers and boxers all the way down to my boots—Winnie the Pooh style. Then I turned to the observer, locked eyes with him, and didn’t blink once while I filled that bottle to the line.

He tried to look away. He really did. But duty is duty. He had to watch.

We both walked out of that room a little different. But no one can say I didn’t comply.