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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/OberonDiver on 2025-05-12 18:48:47+00:00.

Ages ago now.

Working at the hardware store. There were two in town. This one was not the real one. Boss was only boss of a hardware store because his parents owned two more and gave him this to run so their only grandson wouldn’t starve to death.

I was putting stickers on things or some such when the next aisle over the boss is sitting there with a couple of his friends - on the floor in the middle of Aisle 3) and I hear him bad mouthing me. ‘Useless idiot wanker’ sort of thing

(Technically, I wasn’t good at hardware storing, but that’s mostly not relevant.)

A bit later he calls me over. Gives me some money and a list of things to buy from the grocery store down the plaza.

Happy to get out of the store I go on my merry way (and Pippin!)(No, it was before that.). I get everything on the list. EXCEPT… a quaht of vanilla ice cream. They didn’t have any quahts of vanilla.

Oh, but here’s this new ice cream that comes in pints. I’ll get him two pints. That’s the same as a quaht. Of Häagen-Dazs

Deliver his change. Deliver his groceries.

He looks at the Häagen-Dazs. I explain my clever exploitation of grade school units knowledge.

He looks at me like I’m a complete and utter idiot.

He snides at me in front of his friends “You know, you could have got a half gallon for less money than one of these pints?” /subtext - you stupid little wanker I’m so better than you ha ha my friends all think I’m bmihs/.

“I know.”

Edit : Big Man In Hardware Store