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The original was posted on /r/bestofredditorupdates by /u/Choice_Evidence1983 on 2025-05-18 04:04:08+00:00.

Original Title: [Repost]: Please pray for my family and unborn grandchild - my daughter is planning to abort unplanned pregnancy and my husband and her sister plan to help her even after I offered to raise the baby myself so she can stay in college. I’m devastated.

I am NOT OOP. OOP is u/verysadmom__

Originally posted to r/prolife and r/Catholic

Previous BoRUs: BoRU #1

[Repost]: Please pray for my family and unborn grandchild - my daughter is planning to abort unplanned pregnancy and my husband and her sister plan to help her even after I offered to raise the baby myself so she can stay in college. I’m devastated.

Trigger Warnings: abortion, emotional abuse and manipulation, controlling behavior, infidelity

Mood Spoilers: emotional and devastated

Editor’s note: This is a repost. In the previous BoRU, Update #2 was missing. I have managed to locate the missing update along with an old new update that was not posted onto the sub here. I cannot find any other previous BoRUs besides the one linked above.

RECAP

Original Post: January 9, 2022

Mods, please approve my post despite being a new account as my husband knows my main account.

My 20 year old daughter “Lily” is in her sophomore year of college at an Ivy league school out of state where she got scholarships/financial aid and got pregnant by her boyfriend “Matt” who she then discovered is cheating on her. She dumped him for cheating and now said she plans to abort the baby she is 10 weeks pregnant with and I am devastated because my husband and older daughter ”Kara” (22) plan to help her do this despite my objections that it is wrong of Lily to abort her baby out of inconvenience.

I thought we were a Catholic family that like all Mexican families puts family above everything, but my husband in particular is doing the thing where he is justifying and rationalizing the abortion because it is Lily and “I don’t want her life ruined”.

Lily said she “deserves a better baby daddy and better situation” if she has kids in the future and got angry when I told her that the time for her to decide if she was willing to have him as the father of her child was before she had sex with him, but she got very mad when I saw that and told me it is not her fault she was lied to and cheated on. I don’t disagree with that, but disliking that Matt cheated is not justifiable reason to murder a child.

My husband said having the baby will ruin Lily’s life. I said this doesn’t have to.

I told Lily what we can do is have her transfer here to a nearby state college and I will drop down to part time work to help while she continues school and we will raise the baby together. She told me “no fucking way” because “I’m not going to Arizona State where fucking anyone can get in instead of [Ivy League] because there is a big difference in prestige and I don’t to give up where I am going”. I told her that actions have consequences and Kara went off at me saying I sound like a “crazy forced birther”. Lily said she doesn’t WANT to raise the child, and then I told her that she needs to take responsibility for having sex, she rolled her eyes at me, told me to “join us in 2022 where people don’t have to be moms until they want to and I DON’T WANT TO RIGHT NOW, I’M ONLY 20”. Lily wants to go to an Ivy League law school and then move to New York City and “a baby would totally fuck that up”. I offered to totally adopt the baby and raise it for her, just please don’t murder it and Lily said “I don’t want to be pregnant with this fucking baby and am getting rid of it, you need to accept that” and hasn’t talked to me in 3 days.

This is driving a huge wedge between both my husband and I, Kara and I, and Lily and I, and I am at a loss what to do. Please pray for my family. I also don’t know if I can stay in my marriage if my husband follows through with his promise to drive Lily back to her college, take her to get the abortion, and help her out for a few days while she recovers.

Update #1: January 12, 2022 (three days later)

Following on from my previous post - my husband and my oldest daughter “Kara” drove my pregnant 20 year daughter “Lily” back to college while I was at work yesterday, and they just informed me Lily had a surgical abortion today and it went “safely” and she is now recovering. My precious first grandbaby was murdered

My youngest two daughters (I have 4, and a son aged 12) found me sobbing. “Andi” who is 16 said “it was the best thing for Lily”, whole “Emma” who is 14 said “I don’t think I could have an abortion personally, but it was Lily’s body and her choice mom, you need to get over it”. I haven’t spoken to my son about it. I am so devastated that I basically have 4 daughters convinced by the world that it is OK to have consensual sex and then murder the children they create just so they can stay at a certain college or because they don’t want to “get fat and covered in stretch marks and never” as Lily so horribly put it. i’m horrified how selfish my daughter has become, choosing baby murder over the temporary inconvenience of pregnancy, choosing an Ivy league school and killing her baby over finishing college in Arizona and giving life to the child she made through consensual sex. I’m heartbroken.

And my husband aided and abetted her. I never wanted to be a divorcee, but I don’t think I can stay in the relationship and Andi and Emma have told me they want to live with Dad if I do because I am being so “backward and controlling”.

Please keep praying. I feel so lost. I feel like Jesus and the Virgin have forsaken me.

Editor’s note: I managed to recover Update #2 that wasn’t listed in the previous BoRU

Update #2: February 6, 2022 (more than three weeks later)

I don’t really know what to say because I have so many emotions. Disappointment my daughter chose to end her child’s life when I’d have given her everything needed to help raise the baby, disappointment she thinks a fancy degree is more valuable than her child and not understanding that there is no greater joy than motherhood. Anger at my husband for abandoning the values on which we built our 25 year marriage and taking her to get the abortion. Disappointment at my daughters for abandoning the prolife values I raised them with. Sadness at knowing my grandchild was murdered for convenience and “not wanting stretch marks”. Constant longing of wishing I could have known them, held them, and knowing they’d have been one of the greatest blessings of my life. Repulsion at society, for turning women against their children, for brainwashing them that they need to kill their children to achieve their goals, for brainwashing them that a child would ruin their life rather than be the best part of it. So many emotions that I just need to get off my chest. I wish I could hold my grandbaby. I hope they are waiting in heaven.

Update #3: July 18, 2022 (more than five months later)

My second oldest daughter abandoned her faith and family values by aborting an unplanned pregnancy because she wanted to stay at her ivy league instead if coming back home to allow me to help her raise her sweet baby. She didn’t want to be tied to her cheating ex boyfriend even though the decision they made to have sex was consensual. My husband aided and abetted her to get the abortion. Our relationship has been strained ever since and he has started talking divorce because I’m an “unsupportive mother” for not wanting my grandchild murdered for my daughter’s preference for New England to Arizona!

My two oldest daughters have become huge pro-abort activist since the fall of Roe. The daughter who aborted went to the huge protest in New York City with a sign that said “My abortion was the best choice I’ve ever made”. She posted it on Instagram. She wrote in the comments that she was 20 and still in college and newly single and her life would have been over if she was “forced” to have a baby (no mention of the fact she willingly took the risk of making that person!). I replied to it listing all the help I offered her because she was painting herself like her life would be over and she’d be living in a box with no money to feed her baby if she had it. She deleted my comment and told me to “watch it or I will block you from my social media”. I have been told both her and my oldest daughter have been making disgusting pro-Roe TikToks. I barred my youngest daughters from looking at their social media but my husband overruled me. I am trying to raise my children in the faith, like we pledged to on our wedding day, and he doesn’t care. All 4 of my daughters are pro choice. I don’t understand where I went so very wrong raising them. I did everything I could to teach them the value of life, faith and fam…

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