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The original was posted on /r/bestofredditorupdates by /u/secure-raspberry-763 on 2025-05-18 14:05:30+00:00.

I am not OP. That is u/Unhappy_Promise7630 who posted to r/AmItheAsshole

Original Post May 7th, 2025

Using a throwaway because my family uses Reddit.

I (23F) and my sister “Abby” (20F) have always had a bumpy relationship throughout our childhood. After our mother’s death 2 years ago, we have grown a bit closer. She didn’t leave a will, but our Dad gave me her jewelry because I wear jewelry every day and have always loved jewelry, especially our mother’s jewelry.

My sister never wears jewelry because she doesn’t find it comfortable, so she always takes it off within an hour. She is also prone to losing things because she sets them down and forgets where she puts them. We would have to wait for her before we could leave the house because she would constantly forget where she had placed things. I would carry her phone and wallet in my purse cause she doesn’t carry one.

Next week, she’s going to a destination wedding, and she is asking for some of our mother’s jewelry to take on the trip. I said no and explained why. She took offense and told me, “She’s my mother too, you can’t gatekeep HER jewelry.”

I told her that I’m not gatekeeping and that I don’t want to lose her jewelry, and I don’t even wear the jewelry a lot because I don’t want to lose it. Our dad thinks I should just give it to her to keep the peace, some friends of ours think that I’m not an AH because she does, in fact, lose the smallest of things.

So AITA?

Judgement: NAH

Added Comments

commenter

Agreed. OP did a good job of stating her case but didn’t mention what lil sis got that she didn’t. Seems unfair.

Info: OP, did your sister get something that you’re not interested in to balance the scales after your mom’s passing?

OP

To clarify: yes she did get most of her clothes as they are the same size. It was agreed that she got clothes and I got jewelry. Our mother was also very into scrapbooking, so she gets to hold onto those.

commenter

Clothes are definitely not as long-lasting or valuable as jewelry. Excluding her from jewelry because she got clothes is not a good trade. They are hardly comparable.

The scrapbooks are nice. Maybe you guys should exchange a scrapbook for a couple jewelry pieces.

OP

It’s not I don’t want her to have the jewelry or wear it at all. I don’t want her bringing it on a destination wedding in Colorado where there’s no way to get it back if lost. She doesn’t like jewelry but she is in the wedding party and needs jewelry for the photos.

Update May 9th, 2025

First of I would like to clarify some things said, my sister DOES NOT like jewelry, she does not wear it, she REFUSES to wear it. She only asked for them for a destination wedding for pictures. She PICKED OUT the clothes, I PICKED OUT the jewelry. She has no problem with me having the jewelry, she’d rather me have the jewelry because she doesn’t want to keep them. She wanted to BARROW them for the wedding, but I said no because I was afraid of her losing them.

With that being said.

I love my sister, my dad loves my sister. That’s why he got the clothes, because she takes care of the things she likes, like clothing. I talked to my sister, since there is a decent amount of jewelry. Some she rarely wore, and some she wore all the time, like a wedding/engagement ring, along with two Cross necklaces.

I talk to my sister, I apologized for reacting the way I did. She accepted my apology and laughed it of because she. in her words, “has the mind of a fish, so I understand why you reacted the way you did” she then explained she was thinking of only wearing them for the ceremony and pictures, so she most likey take them off for the rest of the day. So I agreed to give her a little jewelry bag she can put the jewelry in, and put the bag in her purse so she won’t lose it.

I gave her some pieces for the wedding, we went through them and picked out the jewelry that goes with the bridesmaid’s dress. It was a good bonding time as we drank some coffee and went back on some memories of our childhood and our mother. I gave her an old jewelry box of mine, and she said she was thinking of only wearing them for the ceremony and pictures, so she will carry the box in her car and put them in the box after the ceremony and pictures.

I also gave her one of the cross necklaces. She said she’ll put it in her car, since she won’t wear it, she said she will hang it on her rearview mirror she she can look at and think of her while driving. We both said it would be like a sister’s necklaces to remember her by.

I am not the original poster. Please don’t contact or comment on linked posts