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The original was posted on /r/bestofredditorupdates by /u/Direct-Caterpillar77 on 2025-05-19 04:02:01+00:00.

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/Crisis_hotline

Crisis Hotline being used as sex line

Originally posted to r/legaladvice

TRIGGER WARNING: Sexual harrasment, involuntary exposure to anothers fetish

MOOD SPOILER: Grossed out but positive at the end

Crisis Hotline Question (PA) Aug 4, 2018

I am a volunteer at a crisis hotline. People call up if they are having suicidal thoughts, or they have been sexually abused or if they are having mental health issues, etc. Our job is basically to listen to the callers, and refer them to resources as needed. We are not allowed to hang up on anyone, even if we are sure it’s a prank call, just in case it’s not.

Two weeks ago, I got a call from someone saying they were a sexual assault victim. However, it was really obvious to me it was a man mimicking a woman’s voice, and he was getting off on describing a fantasy. I couldn’t get them to end the call, so I transferred it to my supervisor. Then they called back the next day, and asked for the name I use (all of us use a pseudonym when answering calls). I’ve changed the pseudonym, but the person keeps calling. It’s a small call center, so I know from the other workers that they keep calling. One lady has already quit because it is so disturbing to her. My supervisor winds up taking the bulk of the calls, and devotes a lot of her time. She says she knows he is faking, but that legally she can’t refuse him. I am wondering if this is really the law in Pennsylvania?

All the numbers are anonymous, so we cant block a specific number, and we can’t obtain the numbers without a police warrant.

RELEVANT COMMENTS

auriem

You should talk to supervisor about reporting this harrasment to the police.

OOP

The problem is, my supervisor says we have to listen to the person, because it might be real. We’ve explained to her that the things they are describing don’t really happen in real life, but she is insistent.

~

Curiouscat

IANAL, but I have worked at multiple crisis hotlines. Unfortunately, using a crisis hotline as a sex line is not unusual. What is unusual is that your hotline doesn’t have a policy to deal with it.

You do not have to hurt yourself to help others. You should not be obligated to take any call that compromises your feeling of safety.

Work with your supervisor on implementing a policy. Reach out to me if you want specifics on how the programs I’ve been a part of handle it.

Again, this is a common thing. Your hotline needs a way to deal with this, full stop. You don’t deserve to deal with this.

Update to Crisis Hotline being used as sex line (PA) Aug 17, 2018 (13 days later)

Thank you for everyone who responded and gave great suggestions! Us employees all got together and let our supervisor know that we were quitting unless this was addressed. Our supervisor is a really nice lady, but very naïve, and needed a bit of a reality check.

She wound up consulting some folks with more experience in crisis work, who assured her that (unfortunately) it is all-too normal for pervs to get their kicks like this, and our “forced-feminization” caller is not actually being abused by anyone but himself.

They put together an excellent training, and our city’s assistant DA who specializes in sex crimes actually came in and spoke with us on some general legal issues we might be dealing with. Now when we get these types of calls we document it, we attempt to reframe, then we say something along the lines of “I believe that you are describing a sexual fantasy. We are not here for that purpose. Because your call is inappropriate I am going to end the call now.” and hang up.

So thanks everyone!

TOP COMMENTS

Editors Note: this was shared to r/bestoflegaladvice where commenters shared their own experiences working crisis hotlines. I highly recommend reading the thread there

honeysucklebush

So glad that it was dealt with!

I worked at a call center for 4 years and we would get these kind of calls all the time. One guy (who was a regular) had this fantasy involving a greyhound bus and you would hear someone yell out “oh lord I got the greyhound guy”.

PurrPrinThom

My best friend worked at a suicide hotline and she got these calls all the time. They’d start out pretending like they were depressed or suicidal but always revealed themselves. She used to text me whenever she got them because they always made themselves so obvious.

Our personal favourite was this guy who called and was complaining about his job makes his life just so difficult because it’s super tiring and super stressful and such a huge deal-breaker for so many women and he’s just so depressed. He loves his job but it’s just burning him out! He then went on to explain, in detail, to my friend, that upwards of 50 women come to his house every day and pay him to impregnate them. That’s his “job.”

My friend had a great time poking holes in his story and generally ruining the fantasy but his story was just so ridiculous I’ll probably never forget it.

&

I know. It was hilarious. She started asking him about custody arrangements and did he have them sign contracts and wasn’t he worried about having to pay child support and he got super pissed.

&

About that guy in particular? I remember she asked him how frequently he got checked for STIs, if he ever asked the women to take a health screening. I know she asked if any of these women were married, to which he said yes. At which point she started asking him what made him why all these women wanted to be impregnated by him - why not by their husbands? Basically, what made him so special? She asked him why he didn’t find another line of work if this was so depressing for him and he said something about how great the money was and she asked him if it was worth the risks to his health (lmao.)

It was a couple years ago now, so I don’t remember any of his specific responses but I remember she said he just kept getting angrier and angrier. A lot of the guys who called for sex used to get pretty pissed that she wouldn’t play along. I don’t know why they expected that she would, but pretty much every call ended with them calling her a bitch, calling back again in a few minutes and getting even more rustled when she picked up again (it wasn’t a busy hotline, and it was usually just her on the night shift so she was the only one to take calls.)

evaned

“Thanks for taking my call. I’m just getting increasingly more depressed. See, I tend to have a lot of empathy for others in general. And, well, every time I look down at my dick, I just get more and more upset at the thought that basically no one will get to experience what it’s like to have sex with as big of a penis as I have.”

PurrPrinThom

The one she got the MOST - from all different guys - was like “I came home and found my girlfriend and my best friend in bed together!!? I was so upset but then they asked me to join them. I didn’t but uh…what would you have done if you were me?”

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