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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/kitti_wampus on 2023-08-30 03:19:03.


I (30F) have been dating my boyfriend, (32M) for about five months now. I own my home as I purchased it this February and it is my second home. I made a good amount on my first home and put most of that money towards this house. I have a good career making about 80K and my mortgage is $1500.

My boyfriend rents a room from his friend who owns a townhouse. His friend travels a lot for work and is hardly ever home. Maybe 1 week out of the month or so. My boyfriend pays $800 a month, which includes utilities. It’s a nice place and my boyfriend makes good money as well, probably around 60-70k.

So recently, his friend was thinking about selling his townhouse and just moving in with his girlfriend. He told my boyfriend this, who then came over one night and sort of sprung all of it on me and told me that he should move in with me. I was really shocked as we have only been dating for five months and I really don’t think that is long enough time for me to think about letting him move in. I tried talking about it with him and told him I needed some time to think it over. He was visibly annoyed, but let it go.

So yesterday, I got a text from him stating that his friend plans to list his townhouse in Oct and my boyfriend needs to be out by the end of Oct. My boyfriend doesn’t have a lease or anything, but he texted me and said he needs to move in with me short term as that’s not enough time to find an apartment. I texted him back and said we could talk that night. When he came over last night, he was ranting/begging me to let him move in. About how he didn’t make enough money to get an apartment, and that it would just be less stressful for him to move in with me. That if he could help pay half than it would be good for me too, etc, etc. I shut down that idea and told him we have not been together long enough for me to want to take that step. He got upset and called me heartless, and then left.

He texted me today and apologized, but still asked that I think about it a few more days. I told my friend and coworker today about everything, and he said that I’m an asshole for not letting him move in. I was really shocked, but my coworker kept going, saying that in this economy people can’t afford to live by themselves and that five months is long enough to move in together. I didn’t say anything, but just remained quiet.

So AITA for telling my boyfriend that he can’t move in with me?