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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/Ok_Fall1769 on 2023-08-30 11:01:19.

We’ve been together 24 yrs, “married” for 16 and we have two kids, and 2 grandkids. He is older than me and I always knew he was married before, as he has a daughter from that relationship . This is in US, and they live in a different state. He always told me he signed a piece of paper that she was asking for a divorce so he assumed he was divorced. Now his daughter calls him this week, the ex-wife is trying to get social security and she asks her dad why he is still married to her mom. He tells her he thought he signed the divorce papers, she informs him her mom never filed anything like that. I get the it’s a mistake, but of course I want him to get a legal divorce so we can legally get married. He says there’s nothing he can do about, and why worry about it. Excuse me?! Basically gaslighting me for even being upset about it. Aside from the obvious distress of the situation, he’s near retirement and has life insurance policies and 401ks, and social security. If he was to pass away, I have absolutely nothing after 25 years. I’m a 45 year old side piece and he doesn’t know why I’m upset. I can’t even look at him right now. I’m so embarrassed and can’t imagine explaining this to our kids. I mean I’m allowed to have a deal breaker and having a wife is at the top of the list. I don’t even know where to go from here. I don’t feel like I’m the one that should be heading the charge to resolve this, but he’s made it clear it’s not a priority for him now.