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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Nerebaby on 2023-08-30 11:26:33.

Last week I (30F) posted in detail asking if I was the ass hole for removing myself from a bachelorette after my best friend’s fiancé (30M) had her (30F) remove me from being a bridesmaid and possibly an attendee at the wedding. Most said no and agreed that I shouldn’t attend.

Following advice from Reddit, I messaged my best friend of 15 years, expressing my love for her but also explaining that I can’t attend a bachelorette party (in 2 weeks) knowing I am excluded by her fiancé from being a bridesmaid and potentially attending her wedding.

The current issue is that my husband (34M) booked the Airbnb. He paid roughly 2k for the stay. I received slightly less then $1,500 from all the girls. He doesn’t feel comfortable being liable for a place I won’t be looking after. Canceling the Airbnb passed 48hours results in a 50% refund. I contacted the host and asked if they could transfer ownership but they couldn’t. The best they could do is give her a discount to offsets the loss. My husband suggest we wait to receive the money back to avoid confusion. He rather hand her the money with the receipt and end it there. My issue is that I know she’s counting on it and probably panicking since her batch is 2 weeks away.

I’m completely torn. A part of me feels like I could have trusted her to look after the place since she doesn’t drink. I also feel like I can front her the money in good faith & hope we can even it out later. The other side of me thinks none of it is my responsibility.