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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Kind-Ant1806 on 2023-08-30 15:05:57.

I (27f) am a stay at home mom to my two little boys ages 5 and 1. I also take care of my sister’s two children ages 8 and 6 after school and during summer break. She sends snacks for all the kids and pays me a small amount of money. I never asked for a lot because it was never a big deal to me and I enjoy seeing my niece and nephew. But now things have changed. My sister is engaged and her future husband lives out of state with his two children. My sister already told me they were hoping I would take care of them. I asked when I would be meeting the kids and she said they fly in just before the wedding and I would start right away.

I told her I would like to get to know the kids first and she said they want to start out on the right path with being a blended family and that means treating the kids the same. She said they want them to have that after school time together. I told her I understood but I would not be comfortable taking care of the kids for extended periods of time when I do not know them and will have met them one or two times before they would be placed in my care and I would not be comfortable.

My sister asked why I can’t just embrace a big change and throw myself in. I told her if she was willing to give me some time to get to know the kids… she said no. So I told her firmly that she would need to find someone else to take care of the kids.

My sister told me I was really showing that I only consider family those who are related by blood. But I would feel the same if my brother came back home after several years and asked me to watch his kids who I have never met and they’re blood related. For me it’s just a position that requires a close, existing relationship for me to be okay with it.

AITA though?