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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/mrdalo on 2025-05-25 04:18:44+00:00.

Obligatory this actually happened 3 weeks ago but I’m still angry-

While on the way home from a vacation in Texas I was traveling through the magical state of Illinois and got hungry for some free Chipotle. (Had points to use)

Found the nearest one on GPS and set course for burritoville. Turned left onto a two lane road and went to make the left hand turn into Chipotle when at the last second I noticed a car trying to pass me! It was too late and the car scraped by my tire and bumper. I pointed my hand out signaling the driver where I was headed to check on damage. We pulled into the parking lot and that’s when I saw it. I was on a one way road. I had no idea. She was well within her right to pass me. I apologized profusely and she told me cars are replaceable and what mattered is we were both ok, and no one got hurt.

Her car was missing a piece of fender trim that popped off the plastic rivets. My vehicle had no damage. Her car was newer so I called the cops and waited. She was super pleasant and asked me where I was from, told me it’s all ok, and asked about my kayak I was hauling. The cop showed up and I told him what went down. He took information and went back to his car. The other driver called someone and walked away a bit.

Then things took a turn. The cop came back and asked if I was all set and had any questions. I said no, and he explained that he had to issue a citation per policy. No big deal. He asked the other driver if she had any questions and she said “well actually officer, I’m having a little trouble breathing, and uhhh… palpitations, yes uhhh probably from the impact”

The cop looked at me and I looked at him. The look on his face and mine said it all. The cop asked if she needed to go to the hospital and she asked “do you think I should?” The cop said it wasn’t his decision. She seemed like she was on the edge of not following through with the ruse. The cop asked if he should call an ambulance. She said that would be good.

The ambulance showed up with lights and sirens. She was put on a gurney and whisked away. Minutes later her brother shows up already aware she was on the way to the hospital and said he was there for her car. Told us how she is a cancer survivor, a real warrior. The cop gave me the ticket and apologized for what just happened. There was absolutely no way anyone was injured in the fender bender and apparently Illinois has some gracious accident laws when it comes to “injuries”.

The next day my insurance agent rang me up. Within 18 hours she had already retained counsel and filed a notice of suit.

TL;DR

I got in an extremely minor fender bender. Lady told me she wasn’t hurt. Consoled me by saying accidents happen, and 30 minutes later claimed she was short of breath and had palpitations from the “impact”. Now my insurance is getting sued by some vampires from Illinois. Fuck that place.