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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/azulesaw on 2023-08-30 15:40:54.

My gf is low contact with her parents and older sister. She has a difficult relationship with them. She felt bullied by her sister “Cora” (31F) growing up. Her mother was frequently ill and depressed and her father traveled for work for months at a time. They were kinda poor, so Cora did multiple jobs since her teens and was controlling and domineering with her siblings about chores and school work. My gf has a lot of resentment about her unpleasant childhood and has pushed back by sabotaging things for Cora in silly and petty ways.

Cora got married to her boyfriend of 3 years about 6 months ago. My gf flew over to attend but did act bratty to mess with Cora. It was mostly minor stuff like not confirming travel plans till last minute so Cora was forced to pay more for plane tickets, changing her mind about her dress frequently so Cora had to buy and return outfits multiple times. There were a few other things too like messing with some organized plans and refusing to do things she committed to. I don’t really like it or understand it but she feels its important for such payback to bring a balance to her relationship with her sister.

Where I feel she went too far is that the night before the wedding, she had a long talk with the groom about how difficult and short tempered Cora can be. He has a kid (6M) from his previous marriage and she knew they were planning on having more kids right after they got married. She told him that Cora hates little children and will bully them. The newly weds ended up having a lot of fights over their honeymoon because the groom wanted to postpone having kids and change how much involvement Cora would have with her stepkid.

Cora found out recently that the conflicts are because her sister had this talk with her husband and she’s been blowing up at my gf. She feels upset at my gf’s interference because she wanted to have kids soon and my gf feels justified because she’s convinced Cora would be an awful mother. I told her that it wasn’t right for her to meddle in her sister’s marriage just to mess with her, but she feels that nothing she said is untrue so she was morally right to do so. We have been having arguments about this and my gf is now mad at me.