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Mood Spoiler: sad and frustrating but truth is revealed

Original Post: April 25, 2025

My friend, let’s call her Nancy, Nancy and I work together for 3-4 years at a hair salon. Nancy is early 30s, kind of an airhead, gullible but a really kind and nice person. She’s currently in a relationship with this guy for about 6 months. He live in New York (we’re in the Midwest), they talk on the phone all the time. He’s been out here a couple of times to visit, we’ve never met but heard a lot about their relationship.

This morning she texted me at 6AM asking to borrow 10k because her boyfriend’s mom have a family emergency and needs the money soon. She said he’s working on an offshore oil rig in Dubai for two months and couldn’t transfer the money until he’s come back to the State. She doesn’t have the money, so she ask if I can ask my relatives for the 10k for her.

I told her that this sounds like a romance scam and that if he’s asking her for such a big amount of money like that early in their relationship it’s a red flag and she should reconsider. I told her that since I don’t her boyfriend that well and if he’s ghost her, either me or her will be on the hook for the 10k. Now she won’t answer my text or call, she also took a personal day from work today. AITA? Should I kept my mouth shut and mind my own business.

Edit 1:

Yes, she is very naive and gullible. She believes she can talk to ghost and spirits. That’s another can of worms that I won’t get into.
She didn’t bring her boyfriend around when he was in town(a couple of times) just a bunch of excuses.
I told her sister about it and got an earful about how I shouldn’t judge a person in need like that. I gave up
I sent her a few articles about sweetheart and pig butchering scams, still no reply. I know she read it.
She’s not the type that’s loaded, she lives with her parents in their basement and lives paycheck to paycheck. I hope she will realize this is a scam before she’s in debt. This will be an expensive lesson.

Thank you for letting me vent.

Edit 2 (Same Post): Sometime after April 27, 2025 (a few days later)

Edit 2: She just texted and asked for the money under the guise of her sister needing it, it was a flat “No”. I feel bad for her, I told other coworkers and my boss about it so they can say “no” to her and maybe she’ll understand from a group perspective that we’re trying to protect her.

Update (Same Post): May 14, 2025 (2.5 weeks from OG post)

Edit 3: Update

What we (me and redditors) suspected was true, she was in a romance scam. She has never met her boyfriend in person, they only talk online.

She said she was lonely and was afraid of being alone. She said her bf stopped contacting her after she couldn’t get the money and started asking simple questions ( like no Internet on the rig, Satellite phone, etc…) .

After that she realized that he was scamming her, she started telling me about how she had been sending him small amounts of money like $50-500 at the past 6 months to “help” him out with some small emergency. When he ghosted her after she couldn’t help him with the 10k then she realized that she had been romance scammed. I’m glad that she saw it for what it was.

AITA told my co-worker that she's falling for romance scam and now she's upset.

AITA told my co-worker that she's falling for romance scam and now she's upset.

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