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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Attempting_Sloth on 2025-06-03 15:27:11+00:00.

Tldr: I (25f) told my bestie (25f) a shocking thing, she thought it was completely normal. I messaged our friends group chat and everyone agreed with me and now my bestie’s not talking to me.

The other day, I went to babysit my niece and nephew (they’re 3) and my sister (30) gave me ground rules that including not allowing her husband’s brother (I’ll call him brother in law) (34) in the house.

Turned out, when my sister was taking a shower my brother in law walked in while she was showering with her daughter. She says the water was running, she TOLD him that she was taking her daughter to take a shower together and her husband (36) also told brother in law to not go in. He says that he was “just saying bye”. I went home to tell my friend about how shocked I found this and she said that she didnt see a problem with this at all. I tried giving an example like ‘how would you feel if your sister’s husband did this’ and she said that because he’s family she doesn’t see a problem (if it was a bf that’s different). In disbelief I asked the group chat (6 totally people including me) if this was normal and without thinking mentioned that [bestie] didnt find a problem with this behavior. And now she’s been acting cold.

Additional information that may be relevant:

1. Brother in law has been “going through some things” and said they only thing that calms him down is the kids (idk what the “things” are) but the couple have since banned him from their place
2. My bestie was raised by her father
3. We’re asian and she’s black, this is America
4. The friend group have a diverse culture
5. My sister has been SA before as a child, so my bestie thinks she’a being overly sensitive and brother in law didnt mean any harm

Edit: 6. We discussed mines and her thought process and she was the one that told me to ask our other friends (she didnt say “group chat” specifically.)