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The original was posted on /r/transmedical by /u/throwaway_bigots on 2025-06-03 21:06:24+00:00.

I never really subscribed to the whole “queer” idea. I often find myself to be the odd one out in “queer circles” because despite my presentation definitely looking queer, it’s not an aesthetic I identify with nor adhere to in anyway, and I’m a frigging lesbian. Many of the friends I’ve made in transgender-centric spaces have told me that I experience dysphoria much differently than they do. At first this was unaffirming because a few years ago when I was just starting my transition it made me think there was something wrong with me… but after learning more about the trans world at large and deepening my understanding of who I am, I am a transsexual who was surrounded by tucutes. The entire time I knew them, they rarely if ever had a single dysphoric moment… and I would often cancel plans or break down because my dysphoria on a given day was so crippling. It was something they didn’t understand… they were chasing euphoria whereas I was running from dysphoria. All I wanted was to blend in, and it seemed like these people simply wanted to look as queer as possible… wearing dog collars and kink gear to the grocery store smh.

It’s basically led me to being excruciatingly lonely because I find myself at odds with the vast majority of other trans people, and I can’t just go find a group of cis women to hang out with because I don’t pass, and it’s not even close (I don’t use the women’s restroom because I know it makes cis women uncomfortable). Idk why I’m writing this… but all the people who do keep contact with me are inviting me out to pride functions in town and all I want to do is ignore them and go about my day. There is no pride in dysphoria. Period.