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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Total_Rope1549 on 2023-08-31 10:50:04.

Okay so this situation is pretty messed up. When I was 22, my ex-husband filed for divorce from me because he was having an affair with my mother and had gotten her pregnant. At the time, I was also pregnant and we had a 3 year old. My ex husband said that because my mother was older than me (she was 36 or 37 at the time) she needed his support more than I did. Two years later I went no contact with both of them.

Fast forward to 2 weeks ago. My daughter is now in the 4th grade and she asked if she could have a sleepover party for her birthday / back to school party. I told her of course and that we could send invites to her class using the class roster / contact sheet the teacher had emailed the parents.

When I was going through the list I unfortunately noticed that my mother and ex husband are listed as parents of a little girl in my daughters class. Now about half of the parents opted out of having their contact information on the sheet, including my mother and my ex. So we invited the 6 girls from my daughters class who’s parents had shared their email to the party.

My mother found out about the party and has been livid ever since trying so many toxic ways to contact me and get her daughter invited to the party. I don’t want her daughter at the party, mostly because the whole situation is very painful to me and brings up bad emotions and I don’t want to have a relationship with the kid.

So at pickup yesterday my mom made a scene in front of the other parents and called me an asshole for excluding her daughter, who is very sad about not being invited.

Reddit, AITA for being firm on not inviting her daughter? I feel bad about it but my daughter doesn’t get along with her to begin with.

Edit: 1) My daughter is not friends with this girl at all and didn’t want to invite her to the party. Last year they were in different classes and my daughter was kind of picked on by the other girl.

  1. no my daughter doesn’t know that this is her sister / her aunt. She thinks they are cousins. She doesn’t know that my ex husband is her father.