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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/AdFlimsy863 on 2023-08-31 11:02:21.

I (24f) am one of four kids. My siblings are Dylan (32m), Evie (29f) and Hannah (27f). This post is about Hannah. I’m the first of us to have children and Hannah, while not a mom, is obsessed with names. She has joined forums to give advice on naming kids, anyone asks her opinion on a name and she goes into overdrive and depending on the name will insult the name, the person who wears the name or likes the name and imply that the name should be criminal or she will tell the person how amazing it is and will set the child up for success and be praised by everyone they ever meet. I’m not sure she has a middle ground.

Once Hannah learned I was pregnant she asked my husband and I about names we liked and whether we wanted her help. I said a very firm no and told her no name will be shared until baby is born and the name is official. Hannah suggested very strongly that this would be a terrible idea. I told her we did not want people interjecting or interfering in the name choice.

The name my husband and I chose for our daughter is a name Hannah insulted heavily on more than one occasion. The name is Lyra. Dylan’s girlfriend mentioned how sweet she thought the name was and how it reminded her of the character Lyra from His Dark Materials. My sister told Dylan’s girlfriend that she should learn proper naming procedure and had to be shut down by Dylan because she was going overboard. Dylan’s girlfriend isn’t even pregnant and there has been zero talk of kids so far so it was Hannah being way too over the top.

Hannah pressured to find more info on the name. She pestered me non-stop and accused me of picking a name that will set my child up for a lifetime of shame. I told her she was too extreme and she responded that I could very well tell her the name and let her decide for herself. I told her to drop it and if she keeps pushing or if she tries to find out the name in other ways, she can forget about being invited to my baby shower and she can forget about being invited to meet the baby without a very sincere apology and I will need proof of her understanding.

My husband and I decided to set up a fake name for her to find if she did go snooping and sure enough, she did. She went ballistic over the name choice and I told her she had done what I told her not to do and that she was warned. My sister said not inviting her would be an asshole move. My parents also think I should still invite her and that I’m blowing this out of proportion. They say a fight over names is not a good reason to exclude a family member.

WIBTA if I follow through and don’t invite her?