This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/CartographerSome3629 on 2023-08-31 08:47:28.

My late husband and I were married for 10 years and have two children together who are 9 and 7. We lost him a little over a year ago. When I met my husband he was divorced and had two children with his ex-wife who were both under 4. There were tensions between my husband and her ex. They had been divorced officially for 7 months at the time but had been separated for close to 2 years at that point. She did not like me despite being remarried herself at the time. She poisoned their children against me and it was a very difficult dynamic. But I loved my husband, he was a good man, and I did love his children despite it not being reciprocated and a bond never forming due to their mother’s behavior and alienation of me.

When my husband died it was hard on everyone. My stepkids said they would not come over to see their younger siblings and didn’t have an interest in the relationship. They also did not want any contact with me, which didn’t surprise me because of how they felt about me before my husband died, but it still hurt. My husband’s parents did not like this and asked me if I would allow them to facilitate contact between their grandchildren. I said of course. So they had a family BBQ and the older kids were there and my MIL came to pick up my kids. They did three of those kinds of family gatherings so the kids would see each other but the last two times my kids were not happy and the last time my kids were miserable coming back because their siblings made it clear they did not want to be around them and they heard the older kids arguing with their grandparents over them and saying they weren’t even their siblings.

My kids said they really didn’t like going and so I decided, for my kids sake, that would be it. This past weekend my ILs arranged for another family gathering and I did not send my kids. When asked why I was honest and told them it had not been good for my children to face that rejection. My ILs said it might take time but at least there would be some hope with continued contact between them. I told them I needed to protect my children. But my ILs were angry with me.

Kids ages now are: 16, 15 (stepkids), 9 and 7 (bio kids).

AITA?