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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Old-Philosopher-6769 on 2023-08-31 16:57:43.


2months ago, I (32f) married the man of my dreams (35m) in a backyard wedding at my parents . A 2nd wedding for both with only closest family & friends. The night was perfect except one major issue. My husbands older brother (42m) let’s call him Tim, grabbed my ass as he hugged me during the reception. It’s not the first time he’s made advances & Ive always told my husband when it happened. EG- commenting on body in swimwear, shoulder rubs, telling my husband to ‘take me home and really look after me’ & I have the ideal body shape. In the past, Ive moved away, put clothing over swimwear, made up excuses. Before the wedding, I sat down another brothers wife & asked how she dealt with Tim. She said she just had to swat hands away & say ‘don’t be gross, I’m your sister’. Fast forward to wedding, I decided to ignore it & deal with it later. That was until I had my married MOH, little sis & guest approach me asking who ‘he’ was & that he was being super creepy. They also said that his ‘leering looks’ made them very uncomfortable & their partners noticed & stepped in front to be out of line of sight. I went up to him & asked to speak privately. I said if he couldn’t act appropriately and hold his drink, he’d have to leave. He denied everything so went to hubby to tell him what’d happened. He left soon after & I put it at the back of my mind to enjoy my night. The next morning, both me & hubby felt very flat over what’d occurred. Hubby was furious & really disappointed at Tim & sent a message in the family chat - thank you all for coming & helping out but our night was overshadowed by Tim grabbing ‘my’ ass and making guests feel uncomfortable. It’s happened too many times & he’s fed up with Tims behaviour being swept under the rug, ignored & the excuses for him. He wanted the whole family to hold him accountable. The next thing, his mums calling saying I’m a liar & spreading rumours, that Tim’s an absolute gentleman & would never do anything like that. Tim totally denied everything. After the honeymoon (not 1 family member replied to any photos, messages or request to help us move house 4wks later), hubby went to meet them to discuss. Tim didnt show as they said nothing would be resolved if he’d come so they’d come as his advocates. They blatantly rejected that it happened & are backing Tim 100%. They also said that I need to be less precious & that even if he did do it, it’s not that bad at all. Nothing was resolved & they also said it wasn’t his fault as he’s borderline alcoholic and isn’t ready to quit drinking. We havent seen or spoken to any family since & I’ve left the family chat. I feel awful that I’ve only known hubby for 1yr and in that time, he’s splintered his relationship with his parents & siblings over this. I just kind of feel dirty over the whole situation & so sad for what hubby has lost but grateful that he’s stood by my side completely. AITA for saying anything?