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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/loquetur on 2023-08-31 18:13:01.

Background: Three and-a-half months ago a friend (27m), we’ll call him Jack, asked to borrow my (39m) utility trailer (which was gifted to our household by my FiL) to “move a lawnmower”. I agreed, with the understanding that he would return it when he was finished. I left it available to him in the future, so long as he gave some notice as to when he would pick it up.

A week goes by, two, and then three, when I spot Jack at the gas station with the trailer, and his mower. The following week, the mother (35f), we’ll call her Jill, of two of his children, posted on social media images that included the trailer being used as a sun deck for at least 10 children, aged 2-13.

The week after that, he posted on social media an advertisement of his services for mowing lawns… A week later I spotted Jack pulling the trailer, empty, on his way to work.

Could I have confronted him about this? Sure, but Jill is a close friend of my spouse (35f) and both Jack and Jill are well acquainted with my FiL and MiL. I didn’t want to rock the boat (as they say).

Last month, our mower broke down and I have not had the opportunity to get it running. My Spouse texted Jack on Monday to see if he could return the trailer so that we could take our mower to a shop to have it fixed. Fast forward to yesterday (Wednesday), after Jack dropped the trailer off, a set of passive aggressive messages fell into my inbox.

Jack: “I brought your trailer back……” Me: “Ah, thank you! I hope it was useful.” Jack: “Ya l am gonna lose some yards bc I was using that to mow like 7 yards” Jack: “I was using it so long bc (FiL) told me he wishes he had gave it to me bc I needed it” Me: -silence- Jack: “Good talk bro good talk” Jack: “It’s kinda like your taking food out my kids mouth”

I literally don’t know how to respond, and haven’t.

But at no point in the last 3-1/2 months has Jack offered to purchase the trailer outright, lease it, rent-to-own, he hasn’t even offered to mow our yard in exchange for using the trailer. He also hasn’t messaged myself or my spouse at any time between the day he requested to borrow it and the day he dropped it off.

tl;dr, AITA for asking Jack to return my trailer for my legitimate needs?

(Preemptive update: Spouse has strongly admonished Jack via text, cutting him off entirely. We have both blocked him pretty much everywhere, and I’m going to chain the trailer to a tree.)