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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/oh4fcksake_ on 2023-08-31 20:51:47.

My boyfriend and I just made it official about a week ago. He tells me that I’m hard-headed (which I can be) and expressed concern that I might put us in situations that could potentially impact our relationship because I don’t listen sometimes. I’m the kind of person who marches to the beat of my own drum - if I think I can do something, I will. I can be pretty impulsive and I’m learning to think twice before making any decision. Now, when I say “jeopardize our relationship” I don’t mean cheating or anything like that. My boyfriend is amazing. I’m talking about being too trusting of others, thinking I can carry 6 bags of groceries upstairs at one time, taking an unknown detour on the way home; things that would cause frustration in a “if you had just listened to me…” type of scenario.

Anyways, while we were watching tv today we had the patio door open with the screen enclosed for some breeze. I noticed a huge wasp on the inside of our home sitting on the screen door. He went to shut it to leave it trapped. I kept eying the wasp and he noticed lol. After 5 mins or so I got up from the couch to try and let it out and he urged me to leave it alone. I told him I’m letting it out and that I could manage, so I opened the door half an inch (JUST enough for my fingers to get through) so that I could gently push open the screen with the same finger. He freaked and went to shut the door back but accidentally slammed the door on 2 of my fingers.

I sped to the bathroom wincing in pain and he stayed seated on the couch telling me “sorry I hurt you but why couldn’t you just leave it!” Didn’t even get up to check on my fingers or show any type of care. I told him he was an asshole and that he didn’t have to do that. He said “you don’t listen, worst case is the wasp could’ve came in the house and it would’ve stung both of us and I would have to be the one to handle the situation. The wasp wasn’t a problem 10 mins ago and it still isn’t a problem. Why couldn’t you just leave it?” I told him the wasp would’ve had to get out of the door sooner or later and that it flying in the house would be the worst case for anyone who tried to let it loose, regardless if it was me or him to do it. instead of just trusting me to let it out now I’m in pain. Shortly after he lets the wasp out using the exact same technique I attempted before the door slammed on my fingers.

AITA for not listening to him?

EDIT: does this highlight a deeper issue of only being concerned with myself?