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The original was posted on /r/cfs by /u/mediocreguydude on 2025-06-16 23:34:21+00:00.

I’m honestly more frustrated than anything.

I want to be there every single moment I can be. I want to be able to support him. He’s scared and while yes he has his mom, parents aren’t the same as friends, y’know? I’m unemployed, not in school, and obviously that means I am free real estate for support! Except NO! Because 3 years ago COVID managed to bite me in the ass and left me with this stupid goddamn illness.

It’s a really bad injury, he’s likely going to join me in the physically disabled club unless there’s some insane luck on his end. He’s already having internalized ableism hitting him, and it’s really painful to know he’s just stuck right now.

I’ve gotten well enough that I actually went on a trip with some other friends last month for nearly a week and it was awesome so I know with the right pacing I can 100% do this but balancing the urge to ignore everything in favor of my friend with the logic of staying careful so that I don’t fuck myself over and end up really unable to visit him is not fun. Unstoppable force meets immovable object.

I just needed to get this out in a place with people who understand a bit better the absolute frustration of this illness. It’s even worse because I know I’m so fucking lucky I can even manage to visit him at all and every day I’m grateful that I can go hang with friends and do things semi-normally. But the limitations are still there and it’s infuriating.

I’m gonna now go continue trying to manage things with my house and set up the home sleep study I’m supposed to be doing, and hopefully start some laundry so I can actually have clean clothes for the next time I visit him.