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The original was posted on /r/bestofredditorupdates by /u/Choice_Evidence1983 on 2025-06-21 04:04:08+00:00.

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/BisexualMessy

Originally posted to r/AITAH

AITAH for refusing to do something special on my wedding day for my sister because she refused to do something for me at hers?

Trigger Warnings: mentions of infidelity, favoritism

Mood Spoilers: enraging

Original Post: June 5, 2025

I (30F) I’m getting married this Sunday, and my sister Jessica (28F) got married two years ago. A couple of weeks before her wedding my ex left me for another woman, and it was devastating because I thought that he was going to propose soon. At my sister’s wedding I asked her if she could throw the bouquet to me as to wish me luck, but she refused and said that she didn’t wanna damage it. I asked her to lend it to me for a couple of pics instead and she refused that too. I said nothing more and I didn’t bring it up again until now.

Okay, my sister is pregnant and wants to announce it at my wedding, she asked and I said absolutely not. When she asked why I told her that 1. The wedding is for my fiance and I; 2. She didn’t do what I asked her to do at her wedding, so why would I do what she asks in mine?

She’s pissed and says that I’m being ridiculous. Our mother says that I’m being childish.

AITAH?

EDIT: Tomorrow is the wedding and my sister is currently not talking to me, and neither is my mother. I cannot uninvite them but I’m very concerned.

AITAH has no consensus bot, OOP was NTA

Top Comments

Commenter 1: NTA for not wanting a pregnancy announcement at your wedding but I guarantee she’s going to make one

Commenter 2: You can absolutely guarantee she or your mother will announce it at your wedding anyway.

Commenter 3: Drop a note to the emcee or the DJ to mute the mic if sister / mom wants to start talking about the pregnancy.

Commenter 4: NTA

The flower thing was a MUCH MUCH smaller ask and she couldn’t do it for you. Announcing your pregnancy at someone else’s wedding is insanity!

Update: June 13, 2025 (eight days later)

Hi everyone, just here to give you an update.

First of all, thank you so much for all the advice and support. I wanted to clarify a couple of things: I wanted a photo with the bouquet for myself—my ex wouldn’t have seen it anyway, as I go strictly no contact after breakups. Some people were also concerned that I expected her photographer to take pictures of me for free. That wasn’t the case. Her wedding was very low-cost, and I was actually the photographer, so I just meant I wanted to take a selfie.

Now for the update. I had a talk with my mother and sister beforehand and clearly told them that if either of them announced the pregnancy or made it obvious in any way, I would go no contact with them for good. They either didn’t believe me or didn’t care.

My wedding was also low-cost. On my side, the only family attending were my mom, stepdad, uncle, sister, and brother-in-law. My now-husband only had his mother there. The rest of the guests were five friends we both invited. There were no speeches or anything formal planned. The ceremony went smoothly, and we moved to the reception area. As soon as we sat down, my sister said she had something to share. I looked at her and said, “No, you don’t.” It was awkward, since most people there had no idea what was going on.

In my country, wedding gifts are usually given after the cake. Well, MY MOTHER handed my sister her gift and said, “The new mom also deserves some recognition.”

That was it for me. My sister started crying happy tears and even had the audacity to try to hug me. I stepped aside and told both of them that the celebration was over—for them.

They left, because my stepdad and brother-in-law finally realized I wasn’t joking.

I haven’t responded to any of their calls or messages. I’m done.

Revelant / Top Comments

Commenter 1: So there were only 11 guests at your wedding and 6 of them had nothing to do with your sister. And of the remaining 5, 3 already knew (sister, mom and bil). So the announcement was just for your uncle and stepfather? Why was it so important to announce it at the wedding then? I don’t understand. NTA

OOP: Stepdad already knew, my uncle didn’t. But my uncle didn’t like what his sister (my mother) and niece did.

Commenter 2: NTA. They asked, you said no, that should have been the end of it, but they were hell-bent on announcing it and stealing your day. They could have announced it the day before, the day after, but no they went against your expressed wishes and just had to announce it during your wedding celebrations. They think that the world is their stage and they deserve the spotlight to be on them at all times, and can’t imagine other people being actually real and having their own lives that exist outside of their scripted universe.

You are right to drop the rope and move on without them.

Commenter 3: Why were they so dead-set on announcing the pregnancy to…your friends?

If your extended family were there, they’d have the excuse that all the family was conveniently gathered, but in this case, their only audience was a group of people who just won’t care that a man banged his wife and successfully impregnated her.

Commenter 4: Now breathe. Don’t respond. Don’t engage. NTA again

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