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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Okay-Bananas on 2023-09-01 04:59:29.

My (F32) uncle (M71) and his wife (F69) recently hosted a family BBQ at their home. This is normally a rotating thing so everyone in the family takes turns hosting.

My uncle is a very … difficult man to get along with, and I mostly went because it is important to my mom (F66). He is very rigid in his beliefs and will make it very clear to you if you have done something to offend him. Once that has happened, there is no chance for redemption regardless of whether you are family, friends, or a stranger.

While at the BBQ, everyone was standing around and my daughter (F6) helped herself to a banana from the fruit bowl. Now obviously, you shouldn’t take anything that doesn’t belong to you without asking, but she is six and manners are still being learnt. Not saying she was right in this.

That being said, my uncle lost his mind. He called her a thieving brat and started threatening to call the cops. I stepped in and he told me to pack up my stuff and go because he didn’t want thieves in his home. He told me that neither myself, my daughter, or my husband (M33) would ever be welcome again because clearly this was a taught behaviour.

I was furious. I told my uncle that this intolerance was why he has no friends, and why we only visit his home out of obligation. I told him that without my mom’s family values, there wouldn’t be anyone at the BBQ.

In the middle of this, he pulled out his phone to call “Mr Police” and ask how a little girl would survive in prison. My daughter was beside herself, so I gathered her and my husband, and we left.

Apparently, after we left, my uncle was ranting and raving, and eventually my cousin (F24) - not his child - told my uncle that he was lucky he didn’t try with someone else in the family because I was still polite in what I said. She told him that she refused to eat at the home of someone who thought it is okay to bully a child.

As my cousin left, apparently quite a few people followed, and suddenly it was just my uncle and his wife left. His wife has been calling me telling me that I humiliated him in his own home and I can’t expect his generation to be PC.

She has also told me that he has been moping ever since because he feels like an outcast in the family, and that I shouldn’t have been so harsh.

I am glad I stood up for my daughter, but I never intended for everyone to leave as a result of the banana. Now I wonder if I was too much? Was I the AH?