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The original was posted on /r/india by /u/Big-Entertainment605 on 2025-06-21 16:16:07+00:00.

I’m 24, working in IT (4 years now), recently switched from service to product company. Been lucky to WFH, though that could change. I’ve built up a net worth of ~30L (including a 20L plot, some FD/PPF/MF). I have a 10L property loan running.

In the past 4 years, I’ve contributed 20–25L to family — funded gadgets, home appliances, ACs, 5L house renovation, even helped in buying land under my father’s name. I’ve always stepped up when needed.

Now my parents (both govt job since 2000) want me to fund a 60L house on a newly acquired village property. My father expects me to contribute 40L, either through loan or selling my plot. He says this house is “for me,” yet also mentions his existing properties (worth ~80L) are reserved for my sisters’ weddings (50L each) and mine (50L as well).

I’ve pushed back saying:

I can’t afford more debt.

I don’t see myself settling in the village.

I might not even marry.

I’m trying to build a safety cushion in this uncertain job market.

But they think I’m being ungrateful/selfish. These arguments have gone on for 6+ months and it’s killing me mentally. I feel trapped between guilt and logic. I also understand they’ve sacrificed for me — but do I have to sacrifice my future to repay that? I don’t want any property from my parents, but also don’t want to get into debt. I have been feeling there has no point left in living as from my childhood I was told to not worry about money, and here it seems spending more than earning is their living motto.

Has anyone dealt with something like this? How do you set boundaries with Indian parents when emotions, expectations, and money are all tangled?