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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Embarrassed-Milk1320 on 2025-06-21 20:27:07+00:00.

About 4 years into our marriage I (32m) began to be more aware of some of the signs of autism and or ADHD.

I would see random tik toks or posts on Reddit that would make me think hmm. Maybe that’s why she struggles with this. Or that would explain why she reacted this way.

One simple example is how difficult it was for her when plans changed. She just didn’t do well when they were changed for whatever reason.

Anyway I thought about this for a year or so before sharing with her.

She did NOT take it well. Her only grid for autism at the time was her cousin we can call him John. John was nonverbal and basically needed 24/7 care.

So without a grid for it, she thought I was saying hey you are basically like John…

In hindsight it would have been so much better to get some relatable tik toks and watch them with her or something.

TL:DR I told my wife I thought she might be autistic and she thought I was comparing her to someone who is nonverbal and needs 24/7 care