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The original was posted on /r/bestofredditorupdates by /u/secure-raspberry-763 on 2025-06-22 14:07:58+00:00.

I am not OP. That is u/remarkablyProper who posted to r/weddingdrama

This one is a bit on the longer side

Original Post June 5th, 2025

Coming to the internet because a) this is a batshit insane story, and b) I have no idea how to move forward. Any and all advice is greatly appreciated!

There’s a bit of backstory to cover, so apologies for the exposition:

My partner Joe (24M) and I (24F) have been together for eight years and married for just under a month (yay!). J’s best friend Seth (23M) and I have known each other since before Joe and I met. About a year and a half after Joe and I started dating, Seth started seeing Mia (23F) and the double-dates commenced. I’ve never been a huge fan of Mia since she’s the type of person to eat three-quarters of her meal at a restaurant then complain to the wait staff until they comp the meal, among other things.

In the summer of 2021, Seth bought a house for himself and Mia that needed a lot of work due to prior flooding. My partner and I went out there, and Joe and Seth did some work on the plumbing and subfloor. A few other times Joe went out there to help with other stuff, and by the end of 2021 Seth had the place renovated into a pretty nice house. He and Mia invited us and some of our friends from the friend group out there for a New Year’s party. They have a pretty nice detached garage/pole barn situation, so they got it set up with beer pong and speakers and stuff, meaning people were going back and forth from the pole barn to the house. At one point it was just Seth and I in the house mixing drinks, and he confided in me that he wasn’t entirely happy in his relationship. He talked about how Mia called him names, laughed at him, yelled at him, etc. and asked what he should do. I said what my partner would have said: “We have a spare bedroom if you need it.”

Every time we went out to Seth and Mia’s house, Seth would find a way to confide these things in me. They gradually got worse, too - she threw stuff at him, slammed doors so hard they’d break off their hinges, stuff like that. Every time I’d remind him we had a spare bedroom, but I couldn’t outright tell him to leave her - it didn’t feel like my place to make that call. Don’t get me wrong, I definitely told him he deserved better, but I wanted him to connect the dots for himself. In October 2022, while at a Halloween party, Seth showed me a picture of the engagement ring he’d gotten. I don’t remember much of the conversation beyond him asking if his proposal plan sounded good. I told him yes, I congratulated him, I did all the things I thought a friend should do. A month later, there are beautiful photos all over Facebook announcing the engagement, and announcing that the wedding date was set for October 2023.

In February 2023 Mia asked me to stand as a bridesmaid in her wedding, and I genuinely was shocked - we didn’t talk much, even at their house parties. My partner, of course, was asked to be the best man, and he instantly accepted. I didn’t know what to say - they’d asked us in front of the rest of the wedding party, and I hadn’t been expecting it at all, so I accepted, too. It made me nervous thinking about it, but if that’s what they wanted, then I was going to do my damnedest to make this wedding work for them. Despite everything Seth had told me, it wasn’t my place to cause a scene about it.

In March, Mia asked me to make sure my hair was a “normal color” for their wedding. It’s worth mentioning that at the time my hair was a light lavender-ish color, and I’m no stranger to impulsively dyeing my hair a vibrant color. I told her I’d of course make sure it was a normal color, but she’d have to tell me what color. In honesty, because my hair is always a different color, the request didn’t bother me much beyond lamenting having to grow out whatever color she told me to go.

Shit really started to hit the fan in August on the bachelorette weekend trip. The drive up was about two hours, and Mia spent most of it telling us about the latest wedding drama: that her parents had decided to take all of the money they’d been setting aside for a wedding venue and use it to refurbish their pole barn. Mia’s parents were demanding that Mia and Seth work long hours pouring concrete, putting up walls, and retiling roofs, so the wedding could be held there. Mia talked about how her mother had been especially rude and condescending about the whole thing, calling her an ungrateful bitch when Mia talked about wanting the wedding to be somewhere else. I felt so bad for her - and I felt even worse when Mia’s mother, along with eight of her friends, crashed the bachelorette weekend.

We were outnumbered in this AirBNB to the point that I had to sleep on the floor. There were nine women, all fifty or older, impeding on Mia’s bachelorette weekend in the drunk the entire weekend, throwing up into the lake off the paddleboat they crammed all nine of themselves onto kind of way*.* Mia had been looking forward to one of those lazy-river situations where you rent a bunch of inner tubes and coast down a river and all that. The morning of, though, these women decided it should be put to a vote whether they went (no doubt because some of them were still drunk and some were hungover), and the overall consensus was to skip the tubing–that all of the bridesmaids had already paid for–and instead hang out at the AirBNB. I grabbed a few pre-rolls from my luggage, took Mia by the arm, and sat out on the front porch with her. We shot the shit about everything - not just the awful turnout of the bach party, but everything else. I felt like we really connected out there, talking about our partners and their friendship and what it would be like when we had kids and they’d have an extra aunt and uncle. For a long time, I thought Seth and Mia would be the godparents to my husband and my kids.

A month before the wedding, Mia called an “emergency bridal party meeting” at their house. Per usual, my partner and I were the first ones there. Once the rest of the bridal party got there (minus Seth’s little sister - she was left out of the bachelorette party trip, too), we talked about the schedule of the day and how the bridal party would make entrances to the venue. At one point, Mia (who was quite drunk by then) pulled me aside and reminded me about the hair color. My hair at the time was split-dyed red and pink. I asked her what color she wanted me to go, and she said “Copper would look so good on you!”

About a week and a half before the wedding, I went out and got a brownish-copper hair dye and did the job. Since I colored my hair pretty frequently, it wasn’t the healthiest, and I tried my best to do hair masks and stuff to make sure it wasn’t too brittle for styling on the day of the wedding. Then, a week before the wedding, my partner proposed to me. I, of course, posted pictures all over Facebook - and my hair in the pictures was copper.

The Tuesday before the wedding, Mia texted me and asked if the color of my hair in those photos was how it would be for her wedding day. I said yes and reminded her that I’d asked her what color to do, and she had told me copper. She denied ever telling me that, and that she would never have suggested copper, since my dress was cinnamon-colored. She told me to send her a picture of myself wearing the dress so she could see if the colors clashed too badly. Before I could even send a photo of myself in the dress, she told me to just dye my hair an “actual normal color.” This turned into a massive back-and-forth of me telling her that I didn’t have the money or time to go out and get my hair redone, and I was afraid if I dyed my hair again so soon it’d break off and be even more awful. I offered to step out of frame for her pictures. I offered to have my hair up so it wasn’t touching the dress. I offered to suggest to her photographer that they color-correct my hair. Her mind was made up, though. She told me she’d have me wear a wig for the entire day. I told her I certainly couldn’t afford a high-quality wig, and she told me she’d pay for it.

The entire bridal party had gotten a text from Seth and Mia requesting all of us be at the venue (about an hour and forty-five minute drive) at noon the Friday before the wedding to help do final touches before the rehearsal dinner at five. Of the entire bridal party, my partner and I were the only ones who showed up at noon; everyone else didn’t show until five or later. We went up to Seth to greet him, and the first thing he said to us was, “Is it too late to call it off?” And in proper supportive friend fashion, we told him “no” reminded him of our spare bedroom.

I’d had a nightmare the night before of the maid of honor beating the shit out of me when she saw my hair, so when she finally showed around five-thirty and came right up to me, I nearly pissed myself. She held out her hand and pointed to her ring finger. It dawned on me that I had, indeed, gotten engaged a few days prior (easy to forget, given all the other stuff going on), and I held out my hand so she could see the ring. She gushed about how beautiful it was, and she told me she needed to talk to me outside after the rehearsal. Fair enough. I confided in her when we stepped outside that…

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