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The original was posted on /r/bestofredditorupdates by /u/Choice_Evidence1983 on 2025-06-23 15:49:41+00:00.

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/anotherweddingpost

Originally posted to r/AmItheAsshole

AITA for not allowing my friend to bring her service animal (guide dog) to my wedding?

Trigger Warnings: accusations of ableism, deathly allergies

Original Post: June 25, 2020

I (28f) will be getting married in September. I have a blind friend who mostly relies on her guide dog. The dog obviously has access rights to all places.

Now I am in a sticky situation and I can sense that I will be TA. I have three chronic illnesses that I take 23 pills a day for, severe asthma and you guessed it, an extremely severe dog allergy. Usually when I meet with my friend we meet in the open and I take two allergy pills. However, because of all the other medication I take these pills make me extremely drowsy to the point where I am officially not allowed to drive and I usually crash as soon as I get home from our get togethers.

Our wedding will be very intimate, i.e. we will be in relatively small rooms. I feel horrible about this but I don’t think I can let my friend bring her dog. It just wouldn’t work. I talked about it with my fiance and some friends. Finally, I talked to my friend about it, explained the situation and said I would love her to come but she can’t bring her dog. I said that four of our mutual friends had offered to “be on a roster” and assist her should she need it. Alternatively, if she is not comfortable with this she could bring a person of her choosing to the wedding or I’d pay for a professional aid for the day. I think it is important to note that her dog is not for any additional issues like seizures or anything like that.

Unfortunately, she was less than happy with my suggestions. She accused me of being ableist and thinking her disability can be switched off for the day.

I understand what I asked was a lot and it is a difficult topic. I told her to tell me if she changes her mind and I’d be happy to make arrangements. But I won’t budge.

Verdict: No Assholes Here (NAH)

Revelant Comments

Commenter 1 (downvoted): NAH. Although I will point out if the facility is that small that you’ll be incapacitated even with your Rx then you shouldn’t have invited her in the first place and just told her it was really just family only.

OOP: I don’t think that would have worked as 4 of our mutual friends who are not family are coming

Commenter 2: NTA. Its an ESA not a medical animal. I love dogs more than humans but in this case , the dog can stay home. And your friend needs a reality check.

OOP: It’s actually not an ESA but a service animal.

Commenter 3: Can I suggest an alternative, can your friend have her service dog groomed right before the wedding where they bathe and brush the dog with one of those furmenator type shampoo/conditioner/brush outs? It really helps cut down on the shedding and would greatly help with the allergies that you have.

OOP: It wouldn’t be enough

Where is OOP located at?

OOP: South Australia

Why would OOP invite the friend if the guide dog cannot attend?

OOP: Because she sometimes goes out without it. Not very often but when it’s at the vet’s

Because she sometimes goes without her dog and we’ve been friends for 12 years. Not inviting her seems wrong.

She has only has 10% vision. No seizures

Commenter 4: Have you thought about changing the set up of the wedding due to the pandemic? I’m not sure how comfortable I would be going to a wedding in small rooms in September. Will you and the guests be wearing masks? The mask might help filter out the allergens. If you move the ceremony outside, that may give you more options as far as social distancing as well as your friend and her service animal being there.

OOP: We haven’t had any cases of covid-19 in over two months so everyone is pretty comfortable. Moving outside is not an option because of my hayfever.

Commenter 5: NAH. Just wondering how you became friends with her if you have a dog allergy and she’s blind with a guide dog.

OOP: She only got the dog a few years ago

Commenter 5: I see. But then can’t she survive a day without the dog like she did before?

OOP: She can and does but it’s not my place to judge that.

Why is OOP having a wedding during the pandemic?

OOP: My state has been covid-19 free for 2 months

Update: August 17, 2020 (almost two months later)

Some of you may remember my post. Well, since I have got married! We decided to get married sooner than we planned because the situation was good where we live and we didn’t want to risk having to cancel if numbers spike.

Before, I took your advice and called my friend. I explained how severe my allergies are once again and told her how I really want to be able to enjoy my wedding day. I apologized for making suggestions and not simply asking her and said she is welcome to bring up any ideas that would help her being able to attend (she told me she still wanted to) that do not include her dog. She was adamant that it was her dog or nothing. While disappointed I was prepared for that and told her that would not be possible and that she will be missed at the wedding.

We sent out the new invitations with the new date and simply didn’t invite her so technically she wasn’t uninvited.

Some of our mutual friends that are in the wedding told me that she’d asked them not to attend in solidarity but luckily they all thought that was ridiculous.

We had a beautiful wedding and spent our honeymoon in the Flinders Ranges which I can only recommend.

As for my friend, I’m open to reconciliation but she will have to make the first step.

So that’s it. While it didn’t go as I hoped it would I’m still in a happy place now enjoying my life as a married woman.

Relevant / Top Comments

Commenter 1: Yes you are at AH. Your friend was wrong to try to sabotage your wedding BUT you asked a person with a disability and a service dog to not bring the dog. You actually are in violation of the Americans With Disability Act. A service dog has the legal right to go ANYWHERE the handler goes I once called the police on a restaurant that was refusing to allow a service dog citing health laws. Trying to explain the requirements for service dogs they still refused. The police intervened and the individual and I had a lovely dinner Apologies are needed from both sides

OOP: This wasn’t in the US and it wasn’t a public place

Commenter 2: Just a question: How were you able to be friends with her outside of your wedding if she has a guide dog? Surely it accompanies her wherever she goes…were you exclusively friends online or via phone?

OOP: We’ve been friends long before she got her dog

Commenter 3:

she’d asked them not to attend in solidarity

If there was any doubt about your friend, this cleared things up.

I’m happy you got to enjoy your wedding, congratulations :-)

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