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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Adorable-Ad-5740 on 2023-09-01 10:13:04.

Firstly, to start off with, I (30m) am not close to my half brother (21m). But we do have some contact. There’s background but I’ll first explain the issue. So my husband (31m) and I have just become dads to a son. We named my son after my late grandfather. Not his first name. But a name that makes me think of him and one that others associated with him. My half brother was not related to my grandfather but he wanted to be. There were issues when he was a kid and he wanted to spend time with my grandfather and tag along when I saw him. So he was telling me that he felt like I should have considered his feelings when naming my son. He told me that it hurt him to see me honor and idealize someone who rejected him on multiple occasions and wouldn’t even include him as a small part of the family. He said he always felt like my grandfather was the reason I see him as my half brother instead of my brother. I told him what I named my son had nothing to do with him and saying all that was pointless to me.

Now for background: My dad died when I was 7. He and my mom were in a very unstable relationship. Always on and off again. My grandpa, who was dad’s dad, was a rock for me. He was the first person I came out to and supported me during that. He supported me during dad’s death. He supported me when mom married 2 guys in the space of 18 months. First guy the divorce was quick because they had only been married for a week before filing. Second guy is my half brother’s dad.

My half brother didn’t have extended family on either side of his family. His dad’s whole family were either dead or in prison. Mom’s family got sick of her on and off again shit with my dad and how she used them during the off times and even some of the on times. To make things more complicated I would say mom and her third husband’s relationship was a lot like her and my dad’s, only more volatile. I actually left as fast as I could. But before that I did live with them and my half brother until I was 17.

My half brother saw me go to spend time with grandpa. Honestly, I was at his house most of the time. He would ask to come and was told he couldn’t. When he was 15 he actually showed up at my grandpa’s house and told him he wanted to be part of his family and he felt like he should take care of him the way he did me, because he was such a great grandfather to me. My half brother said grandpa owed him. Grandpa told him he was not his grandson and he did not owe him anything and told him to go back home. My half brother never forgot that and was hurt when I did not agree with him that grandpa was wrong.

We hardly speak at all now. But he found out I became a dad and reached out about my son’s name.

AITA?