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The original was posted on /r/truscum by /u/Ok_Habit5180 on 2025-06-24 22:24:41+00:00.

Basically the caption.

In my experience, the contemporary trans community is hyper-individualistic and rigid compared to the gay community. In the beginning of my transition, I definitely had a hard time “fitting in” with gay men because I was still coming into myself and of course, because I didn’t fully pass. Now, five years later, I have a wonderful community of cis gay men who accept me and love me for who I am. Despite having received a handful of online hate comments, no one would actually say something transphobic towards me in real life.

Criticizing gay men has become à la mode these days, but my experience contradicts this tendency. Being in community with older gay people has shown me how much they went through just a generation or two ago. These gay “elders” so-to-speak have been extremely accepting of me and my transition.

I remember the first time I went to a gay bar, fearful that someone would clock me or make me feel unwelcome for being trans in a cis male space. However, I quickly discovered that by and large, trans men are accepted in IRL gay communities, barring a few ignorant losers. Realistically, I feel like if a gay man were to say something discriminatory against me in a gay bar, I would be backed up by my friends and bystanders exponentially more than if I were in a straight space.

Everyone has different experiences, and I get that. But I have begun to distance myself from trans spaces because they do not feel like a “community” in the way that gay male spaces do. I feel like I have something fundamentally in common with gay men and I actually feel at ease to speak my mind and express myself, unlike in trans spaces.

Edit: I should clarify that when I say “trans spaces” or “contemporary trans spaces” I am referring to current maximalist trans groups (which, let’s be honest, is the vast majority of trans-affiliated spaces).