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The original was posted on /r/truscum by /u/Ethan7o7 on 2025-06-25 19:45:34+00:00.

Now I don’t really talk in this subreddit often, mainly because I tend to have a very “I don’t quite care what other people do” mentality surrounding the trans community, and actively take part in a lot of trans activism. (Along with the fact that I am a lesbian in a T4T relationship which that alone has gotten me flack by transmeds online) However, this is probably the only place I can fucking vent about my anger with this without being thrown out or called a “bigot”. So here we are.

When this entire discourse of “transmascs lesbians” came around I kinda stayed away from it. Thinking it solely an online thing I can poke fun at to my friends. Strangely my friends did not take my jokes kindly and informed it that the “lesbian” label is not for the binary trans man, but for the masculine non-binary person. I understood that, it made sense to me, I understand that for some non-binary people holding onto vestiges of womanhood that calling themselves lesbians makes sense. So I was like “aha! I understand this, awesome, moving on”. So I did the same, informing people this was about the non-binaries and had nothing to do with binary transsexual folks so there is no need for hate. However, this understanding seemed to have been pulled out from under me, as the “narrative” around this debate has moved to “no actually, all binary trans men who date women are lesbians also!” which immediately put me back to feeling extreme rejection towards this discourse.

How in the world is this not transphobia? Assuming trans men are lesbians is fine? Yet when Brianna Wu calls herself a gay man everyone loses their minds and screams about her internalized bigotry? How are these not the exact same thing?

But whatever, I do what I normally do which is shut up and let people do what they want while I live my own life. This was until this entire discourse had actual real life implications. Me and my girlfriend frequent a lesbian bar occasionally. Here I am sipping my drink when a man starts talking to me, not many men frequently the lesbian centric bar but ok I don’t mind he seems friendly. Until he begins to flirt me with and offer me a drink, I decline, my girlfriend is uncomfortable, I tell him I’m a lesbian, taken, and not interested, but I say that he can keep chatting with us if he wants. He then proceeds to tell me that he is a lesbian as well, so I double down “I’m sorry man I’m not into men”. I was then told that “excluding trans men is a doing a disservice to your sexuality” and shows a “lack of understanding in what lesbianism is, because lesbian doesn’t mean “womansexual”it’s about excluding cis men”

I was obviously fucking appalled, I flagged the bartender because I want them to get this sex pest the fuck away from me.

This entire roller coaster has taken me to a point of speaking out about this in trans spaces, and leading me to take a “I don’t want men in lesbian spaces” attitude. In response to this I’ve been thrown out of discord servers, shunned in online spaces, and had my Twitter harassed for days. On the basis I need to “shut up and listen to our trans elders” who apparently all agree that being transsexual means being actually a special other thing, or a third gender.

Am I fucking crazy? What is even going on here? 😭 has the world lost its mind or am I just the asshole because I’m not attracted to men? Like what the actually fuck?