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The original was posted on /r/bestofredditorupdates by /u/LucyAriaRose on 2025-06-30 04:00:38+00:00.
I am NOT the Original Poster. That is yr_momma. She posted in r/Weddingattireapproval
Do NOT comment on Original Posts. Latest update is 7 days old.
Mood Spoiler: sweet
Original Post: June 8, 2025
Title: Bride suggests wearing our own wedding dresses as guests?
I have my wedding dress, and it fits. It’s comfy and perfect for an outdoor summer event… I don’t know what else I would wear really as I don’t have a very limited (and worn) wardrobe aside from this and one other dress that was for a black tie event.
I worry I would be the only one to do this and get looks from the (very large) crowd, so it kinda feels like a trap… but it’s also literally in the wedding website sooo I kinda wanna do it to honour the request as also it’s the comfiest public-facing garment I own.
My husband and the groom have been friends for 25+ years. I have never met bride or groom as they live quite far so I can’t contact them to ask if they’re sure or get photo approval, but I could have my husband double check with the groom?
I dunno I want to but I worry people could be kinda brutal about it if I do? Am I too in my head about this? My friends say I should just do it and if anyone has a problem with it, that’s their issue not mine.
What do you guys think?
Image 1: OOP in her wedding dress
Image 2: Instructions from the bride
Transcription of instructions in the screenshot OOP attached:
What should I wear?
Here’s [bride’s] idea…
How about, if you have one, and if you want to, and if you fit in it, your own wedding dress! Go on, it will be fun.
If not, then as fabulous a costume as you feel up for, whether it’s an 80s prom number or your sequinnest onesie.
OR… just your favourite party attire, or chinos, or pretty much anything, just not formal. Extra points for medieval feasting finest.
OOP clarifies:
Time frame for the event is June 21 (summer solstice) on a farm in the English countryside.
OOP updates in Comments: 35 minutes later
Wow thanks so much for the super quick flood of affirming comments! Thanks y’all 😊 I feel much better about going for it.
I plan to check charity shops in my area for some sort of cosy and cute cardigan/shawl/wrap situation to break up the white, and give me a cover. Otherwise I plan to wear this with my hair down in waves, with a wavy brimmed straw hat and summery t-strap flat sandals. Maybe a cute belt if I can find one to help dress it down a bit more? I’m hoping this is a solid summer solstice/celebration lewk
I will also bring a backup change of some fun casual street clothes just in case I feel overdressed. We are camping on the farm as the feasting and partying will go well into the night and if a change is needed our tent should be just a quick dash away!
I’m even more excited about this and my anxiety has decreased a lot with all your input. I’ll try to remember to come back in a couple weeks after the wedding to tell y’all all about it!
Some of OOP’s Comments:
The couple sounds so cool:
They seem like such a cool couple and I am really looking forward to finally meeting them! We live 4.5 hours away from each other but they follow my husband’s and my lil business on Instagram and seem to always be rooting us on from a distance!
OOP explains:
I haven’t met either of the couple and my husband hasn’t met the bride as he and the groom haven’t seen each other in years, since before we met and married. We live on opposite sides of the country from them. They are in regular communication via a group chat of old school friends that stay in touch.
Commenter: Just here to say that that dress is GORGEOUS. I want.
OOP: Thank you! Here you go: Etsy Link
My husband and I were planning on a proper wedding and reception but then a health scare made us move the timeline up and we wound up having a small ceremony with just our parents and my son in attendance. It was our plan to eventually still do a larger event and reception for our extended families, and I have a more formal dress for that when we get to it, but I got something a little less formal for our tiny little quasi-elopement off etsy. Here it is! (So comfy, nice fabric, but still so soft and breathable!)
Checking with the bride in advance:
Yeah I dont have direct contact with either of them outside of the context of them following our business Instagram account, and if I reached out it would be our first ever contact. I would rather wait for the introduction! Plus the groom was just telling my husband a couple days ago how swamped they both are with preparations. We are meant to be helping with food prep on the day as I am a chef and we run a food business together, so they were catching up on what that entails… the poor groom sounded like his head was spinning lol. I can only imagine she is in the same spot.
Do you know anyone else going?
We aren’t sure of the guest list! There is one couple we are p sure is going but they are EXTREMELY well-to-do and had a crazy 6 figure wedding wherein she had some ridiculously fancy designer gown that I’m sure she won’t want to wear to a glorified field party lol. Incidentally the black tie event I mention having a dress for in the post was their wedding.
Could it be a prank?
It’s on their wedding website. It was a paperless invite and everyone got the same link. Can’t imagine any couple would do this as a prank anyway!
Update Comment: June 10, 2025 (2 days later)
I was really enjoying letting the further commentary roll in. I got to read experiences from people that hosted or attended weddings like this, and even a Halloween-costume-party-turned-surprise-wedding where guests were all caught by surprise in costume! I was also able to share where to buy my dress from those that wished they could have one like it!
But I’m unfortunately about to mark this as “done” now because it’s begun attracting comments from idiots who haven’t read a bit of it acting like I’m out of touch for asking this question. One person said white or cream should never be worn to a wedding as if I was a horrible person for thinking of this, one insinuated I did a visa fraud for marrying my husband a year sooner than we initially planned??? Others are accusatory about “the math aint mathin” regarding me never having met the couple, who lives on the opposite side of a country that I have lived in for less than 2 years… And generally I am starting to get rude shitty Karen comments now that the initial wave of interest has passed by. Wtf. So yeah, as much as this has been fun, I’m locking it.
For those that want an update! On the long drive home, I will come back to this sub and post an update with whatever happens, and if the bride is cool with it, maybe some pics? When I finally meet her, I will be telling her all about this post and the lovely reactions her dress code got in the comments. I never expected this kind of response and from the little I know about her, I bet she will find this entertaining.
Maybe we will even have a chuckle at the Karens in the crowd.
Fun fact! This wedding seems different from any event I have ever seen before in all the best ways. We got a sign up sheet last night for people to sign up for dishes to help prepare for the feast (with recipes provided by the bride) and even a sign up for 8 bakers to bring different cakes of their own flavour and decor inspiration so they can offer a cake buffet instead of a standard giant cake. What fun! As a baker I was the first to sign up for a cake slot, and I am really looking forward to providing something special, delicious, and beautiful for their day. I also WILL be wearing my wedding dress for sure, though dressed down a bit, and feel much better about it now.
Thank you to this sub for helping me battle my own social anxiety!
Update Post: June 23, 2025 (13 days later, 15 from OG post)
Okay you guys asked for an update after my post nearly broke the sub, lol, so here it is!
I wore my wedding dress to the solstice wedding in Devon! Thanks to this sub for allayi…
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Update Post: June 23, 2025 (13 days later, 15 from OG post)
Okay you guys asked for an update after my post nearly broke the sub, lol, so here it is!
I wore my wedding dress to the solstice wedding in Devon! Thanks to this sub for allaying my severe social anxiety around the decision. I styled it like so with pops of green, added some green and brown beaded necklaces, rocked some camel coloured flats and my camel coloured bag. It all vibed with the lush greens of the farm, its woodlands, and the hilly Devon landscape.
I definitely dressed it down a bit but that really turned out not to be necessary as I was one of at least a dozen others wearing a wedding dress. This included divorcees that were still happy to rewear their gowns, and even a couple of men! Some accessorised very bridal while others dressed it down a bit like I did. One wore a flower crown as commenters suggested I should do. Some guests wore shorts and tee shirts, some wore medieval dress and looked like they walked straight out of a renaissance festival. There were also corsets, fishnets, and goat horns, and everything in between. It was very come-as-you-are and everyone came as their authentic selves to create a really special event. There was much music and merry making, including by the talented bride, and the whole event felt like hanging out for an evening in the happiest chapter of a fairy tale. Absolutely magical!
The bride wore a black-and-white gown, with black floral appliques on the bodice spreading down onto the ruffled skirt. After the ceremony and first sets of performances, she changed into a smart and elegant white silk pantsuit. Nothing too wildly untraditional, but unique and her own style.
Bride and groom were amused and surprised at the amount of attention my original post got and we got quite a kick out of sharing the response with them. Even the more unhinged comments like the person that said how “inconsiderate” the bride is for this dress code bc they paid good money to have their dress cleaned and preserved professionally, lol. (She said “AND YOU WANT TO,” nobody is forcing you to crack open the hermetically sealed dress vault if you don’t want to, Karen!)
They approved me posting an update but tbh I was so busy enjoying the party and living in the moment that I didnt get much in the way of photos. That said, I don’t have much to post here, but they assured me they will share a Google Drive link with photos from the photographers and participants, so I’ll grab a selection of those and post them in a followup comment on this post when we get our hands on them.
The bride said when the dress code came out, her friends joked that it was very much like her to get others wearing white to take the heat off of her and help her blend in with the crowd a bit better so all eyes weren’t on her. However, her thinking was that wedding dresses are fun, beautiful, joyous and unique and should get worn for happy and beautiful celebrations. It’s sad to let them sit never to be worn again! I love her very “unserious” (her word not mine) approach to it all.
Thanks again for all the advice and the laughs!
Image: OOP in her dress with a cardigan
Some of OOP’s Comments:
Commenter: Loooove it. You look gorgeous and it sounds like the day was exactly what she wanted. I would be so flattered if my friends drug out their wedding dress for me. Or their horns and fishnets. I would probably cry from joy. She sounds like a treasure.
OOP: I literally used that exact word and told her she is a treasure as we were hugging goodbye the next morning! You are 100% correct.
Commenter: Her FMIL is planning some shit and she’s getting ahead of it lol
OOP: Nope! Nothing nefarious, the bride is just that fun. There was nobody in that crowd that would have done anything but be loving and supportive. A lovely drama-free bunch of friends and family that helped pull off this wedding! The couple is wonderfully creative and bucks tradition. Click the link in my post text for a quick video of the reception hangout–it was the dreamiest vibe and just super unconventional by modern standards.
Commenter: Okay, but did anyone dress in Medieval Feast attire?!
OOP: Yes indeed! There were several musicians in medieval dress throughout the evening but a few attendees wore similar vibed clothing to what you see in this clip. There was one family in particular that looked like they could have stumbled in from the 1500s. It was rad af.
One last thought from OOP:
Nobody could have outshined this bride. She could have worn a potato sack and she still would have blown us all away with her beautiful vows, incredible talents, and beaming smile. I’m grateful to count the couple among my friends now, not just my husband’s friends!
