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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Tryin_Real_hard on 2023-09-01 15:13:24.

My sister married her husband many years ago and he was decent for quite some time. But, over the past 10 years or so has turned into a verbal abusive monster. He blows up over the slightest inconvenience, refuses to help with kids (barely does the minimum), and is even verbally abusive to my mother, who is in her 70’s; she helps with their kids during the week and on vacations. He’s some terrible things to event the children as well. Called my sister and their first born fat and lazy, when he barely ever helps with household chores. He’s left their whole family at an amusement park and drove home alone, which is about 1.5 hours away, and stranded them there. Luckily, it was an extended family meet up and was able to get a ride home. A lot of time, he’s projecting his insecurities, and lately it’s been blatantly obvious. I try not to get into their arguments and let a lot slide, I just don’t talk to him much when we get together as a family. But, I’ve hit my over line point recently. They took a trip with my mother and he misplaced his wallet into one of my sister’s bags. He went into a narcist rage and unleashed on my sister and my mother. He’s said some hurtful things before, even said to my mother, “why don’t you die already.” Which, I don’t how I let that slide. This time he said a lot to my mother as she was defending my sister from his verbal assaults. A few things he said, “you’re the reason your husband (my father) died early.” He passed away years ago to a heart attack. For some reason, he brought me into this assault as well, which I won’t get into. That was the last straw for me, attacking my mother and father, let alone being a terrible person to his family as well.

After this happened, my mother told me all about the verbal fight. She was so mad at him, she grabbed him and wanted to strike him. I was so angry that I wanted to go over to his house and lay into him. I realized that would solve nothing. So, I decided to not be involved with anything that he is present. I just can’t let this slide, and if I see him again, I’m going to confront him about everything he said and did. My youngest nephew’s (their son), birthday is coming up and I said I would not attend if he is there. I don’t want to cause a scene or argument and ruin his 4th birthday. My sister was upset that I didn’t want to attend and even told me to just ignore him and show up for the kids. I just can’t let any of this go and I even so angry talking about it. He never faces any consequences for his actions, and I tried to let my sister know she is a verbal abuse victim, but she wants to stay with him for house and kids, which I think is just selfish. AITA for refusing to be anywhere near him for any family function?