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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/opaquesilence on 2023-09-01 17:28:00.

We have 4 kids together in total ages 6, 4, 1, 1. For context I have always been vocal about not wanting more then 2 kids. Our first born is a boy and second born is a girl, so I was happy to have one of each. I am the sole breadwinner as daycare costs would not make it worth it for her to work as well.

After our second child I told her I was done and wanted to have a vasectomy, she was against that and wanted to have a third. We fought about this for months (I didn’t want to get it done against her will), her reason for wanting another was that she always wanted a bigger family. My reason against was that I felt that she had a hard time keeping up with daily tasks with only 2 kids, I also spoke to her at length about how another child would be financially unsustainable since I have 2 jobs and am barely making ends meet (not to mention that I too am exhausted all the time).

Anyway, before we could reach a conclusion she fell pregnant (she was on the pill and according to her, barely ever missed a day). We now have a total of four beautiful children that I love, but I can not bring myself to giving her the extra help for the twins. We now are stressed and fight all the time. I sometimes want to help her with the twins but it gets me so discouraged to see everything I warned her against come to pass. I know they are my children too, but it is not fair to get yourself in a situation when everyone is advising you against it… then ask for help when the shit hits the fan. Now when I come home from work, I help just as much as I used to with our first 2 children, nothing more nothing less. AITA for refusing to help my wife with the twins?

TLDR: wife didn’t want me to get a vasectomy and now she had twins that she needs constant help with.