This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/SmallNeat1959 on 2023-09-01 19:08:26.


I (F47) has a child Julie (F16) and a niece, Mary (F15). My husband is a doctor and I am in finance. Between us we make substantial income.

My niece’s parents, that is my sister and her husband, died in an accident three years ago. They had significant debt and there was little left of their estate after settling it. My mom, who had retired, took Mary in.

Mary was never a Grade A student. But after this, her grades started sinking even more. My mom tried to help her, but Mary seemed like she had given up. We sent her to therapy, but that didn’t seem to help much.

In the last exams, she failed half her subjects and had to go to summer school.

Before this year started, we tried telling her what failing would constitute and to try harder. I offered to cover her college fees if she kept her grades high enough to get into one. She didn’t look motivated at all. As a last resort, I offered her if she could maintain a GPA above 3.5 throughout school, I would give her money equivalent to college that she could use for anything. School, travel, or downpayment on a job. Her choice.

Getting her to graduate was more important to me.

Julie came to know of this offer yesterday. From Mary, who asked Julie’s help to study. Julie approached me asking why I never offered such a deal to her.

I told her we always told her we would pay for her college. Julie said that’s not same as offering free money for maintaining a GPA.

I reminded her that she is a top student who maintains an average GPA of 4, and has dreams of getting into college. Mary isn’t like that and this is one way to motivate her to graduate.

Julie says I am showing favouritism. She involved my husband who says we should atleast offer same deal to Julie. But frankly, I am scared this deal would derail her from college.

AITA for not offering same incentive to her?