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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/mama_canna on 2023-09-01 21:05:15.

AITA for being mean to my ex for not making his full child support payments on time?

I got pregnant at 28 with my daughter and her dad ghosted me and ignored every call and text I ever sent. I made an honest effort to track him down so that he could know his daughter and for her to know her father. I even contacted his relatives and was also ignored.

I finally gave up after about 3 years because I was a single parent and just needed to move on.

Fast forward to her being 5 years old and starting to ask questions on why everyone else has a dad but not her. It was hard for me to answer because I didn’t want to stain her mind just incase he starts coming around.I feel father daughter relationships are important and my opinion of him was not hers. I told her he’s working far away and I had lost contact with him.

I met my now husband who has 2 boys shortly after she turned 5. We are happy and things are great. The 5 year struggles my daughter and I had are finally behind us. A year later I was working at a dealership and guess who walks in? Yup her deadbeat dad. But not just him. He was with a woman and a little girl and a baby in tow. I didn’t want to make a scene at my work so I made sure he didn’t see me but when he left I went to the sales associate they we’re talking to. I explained the situation and he was more then happy to pass along the number he gave them.

I wanted to talk to my husband to see if I should just let it go or try to pursue some child support. We both agreed that is it the right of the child to have that support and would give her a better quality of life.

So I sent him a message saying who I was. And that it’s time he starts to contribute to our daughter and we could work something out together without going to court (lawyers are expensive) he agreed but wanted a paternity test. I understand that and agreed told him to set it up. He mentioned he doesn’t make a lot of money and wouldn’t be able to afford much. But a little is better then nothing.

Then I was ghosted again. A couple years and some court hearings and finally he was paying child support. I didn’t go after back support cause I realize he has another family. Mr I don’t make much has actually been earning $200 000 a year the whole time.

Judge ordered him to pay cs based on his yearly earnings and back support for the 2 years he wasted the courts time when he should have been paying. He wasn’t happy about that. But imo it’s his own mess. Now he’s never paid on time or in full and has an excuse every time. I’ve had enough and gave him a piece of my mind and I didn’t hold back.

He says I’m an asshole because I don’t know or care about his situation. It’s very easy for someone to make me feel guilty so now I’m wondering AITA?