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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/Icecream_so_GOOD on 2023-09-01 23:55:31.

I (33 F)just wanted to share for anyone who is on dating apps right now that my life improved quitting dating apps, and meeting people in person instead.

Every guy from online just pressured the hell outta me to put out in less than 3 dates. That’s no lie. Like 99% of the dudes would go on two dates and then expect the third date to be back at their place for “Netflix & Chill” when I would stupidly sort of give in. There was no chill… no fun… no massages or even watching the movie, it was just always a rush job to get me drunk … I thought this was normal and just “guys being guys”

The moment I quit was when a guy I had been dating for a month made a joke that we’d need an uber, becuase he planned to get me soooo messed up at the Wine Lab “I wouldn’t know which way was up”. I realized that playing the cool girl and doing all this drinking and what guys wanted, was doing absolutely nothing for the quality or happiness of my life.

So even though my family and friends said, Nooooo! You’re in your 30s - you can’t take a break now!

I didn’t listen and I quit online dating and deleted all my accounts.

Then I went on meet up to hang with new people, got into my hobbies, exercised, lost weight, reconnected with old friends, worked on my new career and just straight up lived… for me! The dating app cost 20 per month and I used that for yoga instead.

Let me tell you, I have never felt so much better in my whole life. I feel like a happy person again.

So I recently thought to retry online dating and made new accounts, and guess what? I’m literally matching with the exact same people I’ve dated from 2-3 years ago. It’s the same exact people. Their profile pictures haven’t even changed in 3 years.

Soooo anyhoo, let’s normalize dating normally! You can meet people in real life - you don’t need to use a cellphone to date!

Make friends, do hobbies, be happy and you will naturally meet people.

Edit: Sorry for the rant, I guess I hope it helps someone who is also fed up.

(Disclaimer: If short term arrangements work well for your life, that’s great- it’s just not me .)